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Richard A. Gardner

The Boys and Girls Book About Divorce: For Children and Their Divorced Parents--The Essential Book Paperback – April 1 1985

by Richard Gardner (Author)

48 ratings

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Should Your Parents Be Married Even If They’re Unhappy With Each Other?

If your parents fuss at you does it mean they don’t love you? How can you tell if your father loves you if he lives in another city? Are you “bad” when you get angry with your mother or father? Why is it a mistake to talk to one parent about another? Do you blame yourself for your parents’ divorce?

This warm and honest book provides reassuring answers to these and many more crucial questions children ask about divorce.

Reading age

9 - 12 years
Print length

192 pages
Language

English
Dimensions

10.92 x 1.02 x 17.27 cm
Publisher

Bantam
Publication date

April 1 1985
ISBN-10

9780553276190
ISBN-13

978-0553276190
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Product description

From the Publisher

Should Your Parents Be Married Even If They're Unhappy With Each Other?

If your parents fuss at you does it mean they don't love you? How can you tell if your father loves you, if he lives in another city? Are you "bad" when you get angry with your mother or father? Why is it a mistake to talk to one parent about another? Do you blame yourself for your parents' divorce?

This warm and honest book provides reassuring answers to these and many more crucial questions children ask about divorce.

From the Back Cover

"Should Your Parents Be Married Even If They're Unhappy With Each Other?

If your parents fuss at you does it mean they don't love you? How can you tell if your father loves you, if he lives in another city? Are you "bad" when you get angry with your mother or father? Why is it a mistake to talk to one parent about another? Do you blame yourself for your parents' divorce?

This warm and honest book provides reassuring answers to these and many more crucial questions children ask about divorce.

Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ 0553276190
Publisher ‏ : ‎ Bantam; Reprint edition (April 1 1985)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 192 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 9780553276190
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0553276190
Item weight ‏ : ‎ 95.2 g
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 10.92 x 1.02 x 17.27 cm

Best Sellers Rank: #610,750 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #172 in Stepparenting & Blended Families (Books)
- #323 in Children's Books on Marriage & Divorce
- #524 in Relationship Conflict Management

Customer Reviews:
48 ratings

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Richard A. Gardner

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Customer reviews

5 star		53%
4 star		16%
3 star		12%
2 star		4%
1 star		16%

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Top reviews from Canada

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NorthernLight

Tells it like it is

Reviewed in Canada on June 24, 2002

This book is fantastically un-PC; so much that it verges on shocking. Those who want some bland and reassuring pap for their nearest/dearest child of divorce should look elsewhere.
I know nothing of the author biographically, but I can tell he's seen a lot of unhappy children. He's seen them lied to by adults whose intentions spanned the gamut of good and bad, and seen that misdirection and ephemism hurt children more than directness ever could. In other words, Gardner respects children and understands their need for plain talk. This book advocates for them.
Parents may be offended. But divorces occur more often where fundamental tenets of healthy relationships aren't respected, and things we rarely talk about are done to kids as a matter of course. Kids get used as adult-companionship substitutes. Kids get used as weapons against the Ex, or meal tickets. Parents drift off after the divorce and never drift back again. Parents fawn and drool on birthdays or Christmas and fail to call the rest of the year. To Gardner, this suggests a parent who does not love their child. What does it suggest to you?
The current vogue is pad all this over and "be reassuring," but Gardner prefers to let them in on the truth -- believing truth is something even children can eventually come to terms with.

Helpful

T&C

Honesty is the best policy

Reviewed in Canada on March 15, 2004

I noticed this book because of my own miserable childhood.
No adult would like to tell me the truth about my parient's divorce even themselves.There were so many questions in my mind.I have wasted so many time to adjust it. The teachers never taught you how to deal with a divorced family and a sad father. There was no book about it. So, we are helpless.
When I saw this book,I felt so amazingly. This was a book written for us and truely helped us.

Reviewed in Canada on November 29, 2001

Don't buy this book. It was written in - when? It reads like it was written in the 50's although I think it was in the 70's. It's really a terrible book, wasn't helpful at all even though a counselor recommended it. What a total waste of money it was for me.

Helpful

Top reviews from other countries

SURESH

A Great guide for Children whose Parents are into Divorce

Reviewed in India on July 8, 2014

Verified Purchase

The Book fills up the vacuum of space of Books specifically addressing and helping Children who are the persons most affected when their parents go through Divorce. Well written, lucid and soothing for such Children. It will make the Children feel less lost, more aware, confident and grounded. A beautiful effort of a book filling a much required need. Kudos to the Author for his lovely effort.

Anne Cox

Outdated, Creepy, and Inappropriate

Reviewed in the United States on October 10, 2019

Verified Purchase

I was looking for a book on divorce for my child. I bought this knowing it would be somewhat outdated, but I thought that it might be helpful to have a book for her to read from an author is celebrated for work on parental alienation theory. I was wrong. The advice is sometimes creepy. For instance, the author says that sometimes a son may act like a husband. And some of it is just weird and harsh, like when the author says sometimes a parent feels hatred for their child. At first I thought maybe I will just need to sharpie out a couple of words, but this material just does not seem or feel appropriate for a child at all.

3 people found this helpful

C. S.

the boys and girls book about divorce

Reviewed in the United States on July 24, 2010

Verified Purchase

I think this is the best book available for parents AND children, dealing with the horror of a broken family. My daughter (age 12) carried this book with her for many weeks. She was able to contact her father and begin a series of meetings each Monday evening, which gave them both the opportunity to openly discuss their feelings. Good and bad. The book helped her to be honest about her feelings and helped us as parents be honest about ours.

She eventually started a group of children at her school to meet and discuss their own family issues. She shared this book with them. She worked thru her anger at her father for leaving and they shared a loving relationship until he, unfortunately, died of leukemia, when she was in Medical School, years later.

I credit this book for helping me and my daughter come to grips with one of the most painful experiences any family can go thru. I also suggested she see a therapist at different intervals of her development ......I did not want her to grow up not being able to trust any man. As the Father is the first man a female ever loves it is vitally important they learn to negotiate, express feelings and to forgive. Finally reaching a place of peace for all involved.

I highly recommend this book to any family dealing with divorce!

Tee

4 people found this helpful

Mary

author never heard of joint custody

Reviewed in the United States on November 19, 2021

Verified Purchase

This book is 100% about divorce when mother has physical custody and refers exclusively to “visits” with dad. Suggests children invite a friend to visits with dad and points out how to know if parents love a child or not. If father doesn’t spend time with you or enough interest, he may not love you. Tells children to be nice to step mom, or they may not get to see dad as much#!!%.. There is sooo much wrong with this book. Amazon gave a refund without requesting a return. I just put book in the trash where it belongs.

Natalie

This book has been around for a while. My ...

Reviewed in the United States on July 17, 2018

Verified Purchase

This book has been around for a while. My father read it with me when my folks split decades ago. It helped me then and again when I read it in my 20's. I've purchased it over and over again for anyone I know going through a divorce to help their kids.

2 people found this helpful

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Follow the Author

The Boys and Girls Book About Divorce: For Children and Their Divorced Parents--The Essential Book Paperback – April 1 1985

Enhance your purchase

Frequently bought together

Product description

From the Publisher

From the Back Cover

About the Author

Product details

About the author

Richard A. Gardner

Customer reviews

Top reviews from Canada

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Top reviews from other countries

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