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Jennette Mccurdy

I'm Glad My Mom Died Hardcover – Aug. 9 2022

by Jennette McCurdy (Author)

4.7 49,778 ratings

#19 this week

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#1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
#1 INTERNATIONAL BESTSELLER

A heartbreaking and hilarious memoir by iCarly and Sam & Cat star Jennette McCurdy about her struggles as a former child actor—including eating disorders, addiction, and a complicated relationship with her overbearing mother—and how she retook control of her life.

Jennette McCurdy was six years old when she had her first acting audition. Her mother’s dream was for her only daughter to become a star, and Jennette would do anything to make her mother happy. So she went along with what Mom called “calorie restriction,” eating little and weighing herself five times a day. She endured extensive at-home makeovers while Mom chided, “Your eyelashes are invisible, okay? You think Dakota Fanning doesn’t tint hers?” She was even showered by Mom until age sixteen while sharing her diaries, email, and all her income.

In I’m Glad My Mom Died, Jennette recounts all this in unflinching detail—just as she chronicles what happens when the dream finally comes true. Cast in a new Nickelodeon series called iCarly, she is thrust into fame. Though Mom is ecstatic, emailing fan club moderators and getting on a first-name basis with the paparazzi (“Hi Gale!”), Jennette is riddled with anxiety, shame, and self-loathing, which manifest into eating disorders, addiction, and a series of unhealthy relationships. These issues only get worse when, soon after taking the lead in the iCarly spinoff Sam & Cat alongside Ariana Grande, her mother dies of cancer. Finally, after discovering therapy and quitting acting, Jennette embarks on recovery and decides for the first time in her life what she really wants.

Told with refreshing candor and dark humor, I’m Glad My Mom Died is an inspiring story of resilience, independence, and the joy of shampooing your own hair.

Print length

320 pages
Language

English
Publisher

Simon & Schuster
Publication date

Aug. 9 2022
Dimensions

15.24 x 3.3 x 22.86 cm
ISBN-10

1982185821
ISBN-13

978-1982185824
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From the Publisher

Product description

Review

“[A] layered account of a woman reckoning with love and violence at once…[Not] a flippant exposé of childhood stardom, nor an angry diatribe directed at an abuser. This complexity is what makes I’m Glad My Mom Died feel real…Some supposed literary types will think the immense popularity of I’m Glad My Mom Died—the hardcover initially sold out at many major bookstores—is merely the result of McCurdy’s former stardom and modern culture’s thirst for a sensational take. With its bold headline and bright cover featuring a smirking McCurdy holding a pink urn, the book feels deliberately marketed for virality, perfect for sharing on the internet and catching the eye of bookstore browsers. I’ve mentioned the title of this memoir to some people who have dismissed it out of hand, remarking that being glad one’s parent is dead is crude and a sentiment that should be kept to oneself. But those people haven’t read the book. McCurdy takes her time to remember difficult and complex moments of her life, staying true to her younger self while ultimately trying to come to terms with who she is as an independent adult. It’s a triumph of the confessional genre.”—Nina Li Coomes, The Atlantic

“Not many people rise to her level of fame or are so deeply abused, but McCurdy’s narrative will feel familiar to anyone who has navigated poverty and trauma. Taking advantage of the store discount at your dad’s retail job, tuning out screaming matches between parents, avoiding calls from debt collectors … this is what childhood is like for millions of Americans. Like many, I recognized myself in her words.”—Sabrina Cartan, Slate

“Unflinching…This year’s most candid book…I'm Glad My Mom Died made me laugh; it made me cry. It's such a funny, dark, moving, honest, real, uncensored book, and it's unlike anything I've ever read.”—Mary Elizabeth Williams, Salon

“[The]number-one New York Times-bestselling memoir that has also achieved pop-cultural phenomenon status…I'm Glad My Mom Died is more than source material for a deluge of headlines about Grande and the slimy advances of a Nickelodeon svengali McCurdy calls simply ‘The Creator.’ McCurdy distinguishes herself from standard-issue celebrity memoir fare with a vivid, biting, darkly comic tone and an immersive present tense.”—Michelle Ruiz, Vogue

“For McCurdy, this book isn't just her writing debut. It's a reckoning with guilt and grief after her mother's premature death. It's healing from multiple eating disorders and processing decades of trauma. It's finally doing what she wants for the first time: not acting. Writing…Healing from trauma looks different for everyone: For McCurdy, writing this memoir symbolized empowerment over her narrative. And understanding that it's OK not to forgive her late mother provided her peace.”—Jenna Ryu, USA Today

“Judging simply by the shocking title of Jennette McCurdy’s debut memoir, I’m Glad My Mom Died, you may think the book is a no-holds-barred, scathing takedown of her mother and everyone else who perpetuated the horrifying upbringing that the former iCarly star endured, but you’d be wrong. McCurdy’s book is certainly revealing, describing the abuse she endured from her mother, who pushed her into acting at age 6, then guided her directly into an eating disorder and much worse until her death in 2013. But beyond that, it’s a measured, heartbreakingly poignant, and often laugh-out-loud-funny memoir with McCurdy showing more sympathy for her complicated mother than most people could even imagine mustering. However, what is perhaps most important about her memoir, which is smart, well-written, and powerful, is just how much hope and help it will surely provide to those suffering similar abuses right now.”—Scott Neumyer, Shondaland

“The new memoir from former child star Jennette McCurdy has an attention-grabbing title: I’m Glad My Mom Died. Over the course of the book, McCurdy, who built her name on Nickelodeon’s iCarly and Sam and Cat, more than makes her case, detailing years of her mother’s mental and physical abuse. The result is a detailed look at a very specific and individual childhood of horrors, but it also points to a major systemic problem. I’m Glad My Mom Died doubles as a damning indictment of the child star system…She paints a vivid picture of child stardom as a system in which children find themselves turned into walking piles of other people’s cash, and summarily dismantled when they lose their value. It’s damning both for the horrors she experienced as an individual and the systemic failures to which her story points.”—Constance Grady, Vox

“McCurdy’s book must be written by someone. Why? It must be done because there is someone out there right now who truly believes that life will never be any different. They truly believe that they will live under their parent’s thumb, never have the life they wanted, not trust their own agency, their own minds, and people like Jennette exist to tell them: You are not wrong, you can trust yourself. You can do this too.”—Erin Taylor, Observer

“A stunning memoir…[McCurdy] reveals herself to be a stingingly funny and insightful writer, capable of great empathy and a brutal punchline. It’s a document not just of all she’s endured, but also of the wisdom she accrued along the way.”—Sam Lansky, Time

“A coming-of-age story that is alternately harrowing and mordantly funny.”—Dave Itzkoff, The New York Times

“[A] magnum opus…sharply funny and empathetic.”—Ashley Spencer, The Washington Post

“McCurdy strips away the candy-coated facade of her sitcom experiences.”—Vanity Fair

“[The] US summer publishing sensation that—in short, punchy sentences delivered with a high level of self-perception—could transform the trauma memoir business…[T]he book, and the reception it has received, could return the focus of the trauma narratives to the mother and create new demand for mother-daughter accounts.”—Edward Helmore, The Guardian

“[An] explosive debut…insightful and incisive, heartbreaking and raw, McCurdy’s narrative reveals a strong woman who triumphs over unimaginable pressure to emerge whole on the other side. Fans will be rapt.”—Publishers Weekly (starred review)

“McCurdy asks readers a question: When and how does one rid oneself of the cage created by others and walk freely? Her stunning debut offers fierce honesty, empathy for those that contributed to her grief, and insights into the hard-fought attachments and detachments of growing older.”—Booklist (starred review)

“Delivered with captivating candor and grace.”—Kirkus (starred review)

“Jennette McCurdy is the queen of lemonade from lemons, using her trauma to weave a painfully funny story that also illuminates the commodification of teenage girls in America. An important cultural document just as much as a searingly personal one.”—Lena Dunham

“Jennette’s road to finding herself—removed from the expectations of her mother—is impressively funny. She fuses nuanced relationships, complex grief, religious whiplash and Hollywood trauma into a bold story with a specific comedic voice.”—Jerrod Carmichael

“How can a book be so sad and also so funny? It's an art, and Jennette McCurdy has mastered it here. I’m Glad My Mom Died is hysterical and heartbreaking and fascinating all at the same time.”—Jenny Lawson, New York Times bestselling author of Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things and Broken (in the Best Possible Way)

“I'm Glad My Mom Died is furious, sad, brave, knowing, honest, heart-wrenching, and utterly compelling. McCurdy writes with a keen insight and startling compassion. Whether showing how dysfunction can seem normal to those most affected, the torture of eating disorders, or the mindfuck that is child stardom, McCurdy brings readers deep into the milieu so often hidden from outsiders. This is a beautifully crafted coming-of-age story as fearless as its author.” —Lauren Hough, New York Times bestselling author of Leaving Isn’t the Hardest Thing

“Jennette McCurdy’s book is a coruscating picture of her life as a child actor, devastatingly honest and with great understanding of the psychology and emotions operating at a deep level. It’s a riveting read, entertaining and very touching.”—Hayley Mills, New York Times bestselling author of Forever Young

“Jennette’s career as an actor was simply a character in a much more important story. She is a natural writer with a wonderful sense of humor. Her story is heartbreaking with a nice balance of hopeful. I could not put this book down.”—Laraine Newman, original cast member of Saturday Night Live and author of May You Live in Interesting Times

About the Author

Jennette McCurdy starred in Nickelodeon’s hit show iCarly and its spin-off, Sam & Cat, as well as in the Netflix series Between. In 2017, she quit acting and began pursuing writing/directing. Her films have been featured in the Florida Film Festival, the Salute Your Shorts Film Festival, Short of the Week, and elsewhere. Her essays have appeared in HuffPost and The Wall Street Journal. Her one-woman show I’m Glad My Mom Died had two sold-out runs at the Lyric Hyperion Theatre and Hudson Theatre in Los Angeles. She hosts a podcast called Empty Inside, which has topped Apple’s charts and features guests speaking about uncomfortable topics. She lives in Los Angeles.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Simon & Schuster (Aug. 9 2022)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Hardcover ‏ : ‎ 320 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1982185821
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1982185824
Item weight ‏ : ‎ 476 g
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 15.24 x 3.3 x 22.86 cm

Best Sellers Rank: #335 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #6 in Dysfunctional Relationships (Books)
- #6 in Family Health
- #12 in Entertainer

Customer Reviews:
4.7 49,778 ratings

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4.7 out of 5

49,778 global ratings

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2 star		1%
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Lily

Actually Harrowing

Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on May 26, 2023

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I’m Glad My Mom Died was an excellent read. Having grown up loving the shiny sitcom shows she starred in, I had to learn the traumatizing truth about Jennette’s life. It is brutally honest, legitimately uncomfortable at times, but that’s what I expected from the memoir from that title. Reading about her twisty perspective dealing with her family, friends, The Creator, romantic relationships, costars, and therapists was actually harrowing.

Helpful

Mjw

Inspiring and Traumatizing

Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on May 3, 2023

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I went into this book knowing only the bits that Jennette shared through her interviews on tv and online; which is why I decided to buy the book.

I thought I was prepared for what to come, but I was mistaken. Her story is so much worse than I could have imagined. The physical, emotional and mental abuse from her mom and other people who took advantage of her is truly horrific. However, the road to recovery is inspiring. This book is so deeply personal and I appreciate the bravery Jennette had to share this with the world.

I highly recommend reading this and getting to understand her a little bit more. I have so much more respect for her as a person.

3 people found this helpful

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Chloe Eadle

Interesting read

Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on May 29, 2023

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I love the book, it has many interesting turns and it is a rollercoaster to read! The author herself really made her story unique even though it is a much darker and upsetting story, I liked how she expressed the final product.

Arrived on time, no damage, perfect condition, fun read! Thank you.

Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on February 26, 2023

Verified Purchase

It is devastating to read at times, so beware. But when I tell you this is one of the most enthralling reads I’ve ever encountered, I really do mean it. Jeanette is so sincere and unwaveringly honest. Her voice is definite but never pushy. She writes as though she is telling the story to a new friend. I cried several times while reading this. I felt seen, and heartbroken. I felt joy! Excitement!
you just can’t help but root for her at every stage.
Pick up the book, man. Just do it. You know you’re thinking about it!

4 people found this helpful

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Amazon Customer

Perspective changing and raw

Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on August 21, 2022

Verified Purchase

This book was a sucker punch. Growing up watching McCurdy on TV as her incredibly well known character makes her story so much more difficult to read - you want to believe she enjoyed her time on Nick and that the show was as fun and joyful as watching it was. Reading this and learning of her struggles really changes your mindset about these child stars and what they go through. It makes you wonder of any of the other young stars out there deal with the same, and who are forced to stay silent for longer than Jennette has.

Jennette, if you read this, your book had me in tears, both from laughter and the kind of crying and discomfort that comes from being able to relate to something on a deep level you didn't realize was there before. Thank you for being so open and honest - this couldn't have been easy to write or relive - and I'm sure this will resonate with so many people, just like it did with me.

If you're hesitant to read this, don't. This is one of those books that will stay with you forever.

29 people found this helpful

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Josh

Perfect perfect perfect

Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on February 13, 2023

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I never read. Like never. Last time I read a whole book was because I was forced to for a class. But I got this book because I was interested in the story and I haven’t been able to put it down. I read a bit slower then a book worm so im only about 150 pages in but it’s legit so good especially if you grew up a fan of hers

4 people found this helpful

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Erika

Great read!

Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on January 28, 2023

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Book was delivered less than 24 hours ago, and I have already read the whole thing. Jennette writes in a very conversational tone, and it is a very interesting read; chapters are short and easy to digest… thoroughly enjoyed it, and I hope somewhere, after a long and healthy career, she writes a second biography for the second half of her life, because I would definitely read that as well

One person found this helpful

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AJ

Do recommend!

Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on January 27, 2023

Verified Purchase

In an interview she was asked about the title and how it's "heavy". She explained that the book isn't for everyone, that people who have a good sense of humor will get it, and people who have had similar experiences will get it. And giirrrl, I get it. Good read, I appreciate the very honest title (cause same), and it's nice to see someone who's gone through a similar experience to still come out okay on the other end.

4 people found this helpful

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Top reviews from other countries

Thirteenth Monkey

Emotionally resonant

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on May 21, 2023

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As a rule, I pretty much hate every book I start reading before mellowing at the quarter or half way point and singing its praises (or an approximation thereof), and this was no exception. It opens from the point of view of young Jennette McCurdy, the writing style is at the level of a young her, which is fine but probably wouldn't have been my choice, and each chapter takes us through her upbringing, with all of the drama that came with that and the normalisation of what, by the numbers, was an abnormal (or 'not normal') childhood, therefore the book becomes easier to read, more compelling and relatable, the older she gets and the more she has a growing discontent. It's a good read and I identified most with her struggles as a teenager, when it comes to identity and body image, which came at around the quarter or half way mark, so for me the book picked up the pace there. I made some notes in my phone and you'll find those directly below.

Take aways -

Personally I read it for industry secrets, such as calorie (calorific) restriction to stunt growth and aging, and for another account of Hollywood and entertainment ind. control, corruption, abuse.
But I also took away from it the following:
Ego, inflation, narcissistic control - material possessions, hoarding, an attempt to distract oneself from death, own mortality...
I learnt a bit about the inner workings of agencies, academies, and acting classes, introductory techniques, at least for children, although it's probably quite similar to what adults are taught to do, i.e. make noises and behave like animals to loosen up.

High metabolism, very fast. Older you get the metabolism shifts where you 'only have to look at something to get fat'. Carbs and sugar convert to fat.
Net's mom is on a regime of hot tea every morning for breakfast, nothing else and nothing in the tea, and a plate of steamed vegetables every night for dinner, plain, nothing on them. Rarely lunch - sometimes a naked salad or half a chocolate chip snack bar.
I approve of the steamed vegetables and salads, but it's not enough to withstand the malnourishing abuse of tea and snack bars and it's very likely that this may have led to or contributed to her stage-four cancer diagnosis which went into remission and came back for the last time - clue is in the title, I'm Glad My Mom Died. But they do - including the meagre chocolate in the snack bars - speed up metabolism. Need protein, the building blocks of life. Not all protein is created equal, I'm sure, but protein in whatever form is a must. Theoretically, to my mind, it should help to retain youthfulness, but, from experience, may also add to or kickstart the aging / maturation process. Carbs, selective carbs, the same when it comes to youthfulness, as is highlighted in the exclusion of protein, resulting in stunted growth and potentially metabolic high speeds (depending on genetic disposition). I would imagine calorie restriction is a much greater factor than the choice of food though, and protein would be infinitely preferential over simple, refined carbohydrates, as these would definitely, provably (you only need to look around), ruin the looks and sicken the body. Striking some kind of a balance between complex carbohydrates and protein is key, perhaps panning from one to the other (if not in tandem), but proteins are integral.
Water-dense fruits, watermelon and jicama are mentioned. Cayenne and chili peppers for increasing metabolism, which makes sense; these are all things I have in my diet, and I went through a phase some years ago of eating cayenne spice directly from a plate, licking my finger and dabbing it, almost every day. I love heat, and sweating is great and purifying for the body and the skin. Coffee is mentioned, decaf (probably because they're Mormons), as an appetite suppressant, or nicotine of course, and there is something to be said for the both of these, sparingly and from quality sources, but both are stressors for the body and the metabolic system, so it depends what the goal is - to suppress appetite and weight gain or to enjoy youthfulness and good health?

Back to the book and my 'review' :

It's really screwed up reading about the micromanaging of her life and the control and invasiveness of her mother, most prominently. The narcissistic hallmarks are there. But you know, we all have narcissism in us. It's the nature of the ego - taken to its extreme conclusions, through inflation and overinflation. And this book made me contemplate further on something that was floating around my head weeks ago, months ago, which didn't really find an outlet or finished-formulation. I'm still forming this idea - these thoughts and feelings - and they are: narcissists may not be able to be trusted but they deserve pity, compassion, empathy, even if we can't get too close. They're flawed, damaged people, not monsters or demons or some such thing. I feel like they're lost-- perhaps permanently, in this life of theirs, this incarnation; their souls are trapped behind the false self, the fragile ego that overinflates, because of whatever their own experiences and traumas were, and it protects, shrouds, ultimately blots out the light of their true selves. It's very sad. I know there's not a lot of time or thought given, seemingly, in our current culture, to this possibility for understanding and compassion. From what I can tell, and I've watched quite a number of videos by Dr. Ramani and others, and own a Ramani book, they're regarded as irredeemable, inhuman. And it may be so that they are, but I feel they're in there somewhere, usurped by a personal demiurge. This book helped to bridge that gap for me, to make that connection concrete, because of the love that's at the heart of this book. Despite everything, there is a love there - from daughter to mother and from mother to daughter (and sons). It made me tearful. I didn't expect that, especially given the bold (but wry) title. There's a quote about the mother being consumed by the abyss of her brain tumor and the only thing she's able to say is 'love you'. I know there'll be conflicting feelings, for Jennette more than the average reader, as to whether this is the 'same old' - attachment - but I think the love was there, all along, it just finds inadequate expression because of the warping effect this life can have on us. In closing, I found the book to be emotionally resonant - what it feels like to be a human.

One person found this helpful

Kara Stevens

Relatable enough to inspire me, different enough to help me empathize with child stars.

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on June 2, 2023

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Jeanette McCurdy put so much of herself into her story. I loved reading it! There were parts where I cried because of how relatable the story is to my own, despite the differences. Throughout the whole book, I felt anger from my childhood up to last year, when I cut off my mom. It’s never easy to be the daughter of a woman with narcissistic traits.

I love how her story showed how she over-empathized with her mother and under-empathized with herself, feeling that her anger and disgust were reasons to shame herself instead of recognizing the control and abuse her mother put on her. I’m proud of her resilience and her ability to stand up for herself, even when there’s nothing she can do. The times with her dad also showed the abuse he had to endure, and how her mother triangulated everyone. I hope she keeps pushing towards her healing and dreams, not the ones placed on her by her mother, other members of her family, or society.

3 people found this helpful

The Sleepy Reader

An emotionally charged memoir

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on February 9, 2023

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McCurdy writes about her struggles as she attempts to process her complicated emotions about her mother's death. She does so in a way that can be both humorous and heartbreaking at the same time, allowing readers to connect with her story on a deeply personal level. Through her narrative, McCurdy paints a vivid picture of what it feels like to be controlled by someone else, to live your life trying to please them, even though it seems impossible, and the emotional struggles this brings. The memoir is full of vivid details that help readers understand what it feels like to grapple with these realisations while still trying to move forward in life.

Writing ‘I’m glad my mom died’ after receiving extensive therapy, McCurdy takes us through her struggles with her mother since she was six years old, with her mother dreaming of her becoming a famous actor, her mother’s greatest dream. We gain a greater appreciation of what it takes to become famous, and the abusive mother-daughter relationship McCurdy endured as well as further insight into her state of mind throughout the book.

In addition to being emotionally charged, I'm Glad My Mom Died is also filled with moments of light-heartedness that will make readers smile amidst their tears. McCurdy’s musings on topics such as Death Metal music or her propensity for making inappropriate jokes will bring some much-needed levity to this otherwise serious subject matter.

While most celebrity memoirs are written either about how wonderful it is to be a celeb or the stresses of such a life and such wealth etc, McCurdy provides a refreshingly different take on the life she never wanted and shunned as soon as she felt strong enough to break away from the life someone else chose for her. I would have been interested in what she is doing now or plans to do going forward without any acting in her life. So far, this would appear to entail a huge amount of therapy and little else.

I enjoyed the writing style, which is easy to read and still poignant. I remember watching both iCarly and Sam and Cat when my daughter was younger and enjoyed both shows, you wouldn’t have known how much McCurdy was hating her part in the shows which demonstrates how good her acting is. However, her treatment by Nickelodeon, particularly on Sam and Cat (a show that was supposed to be just Sam but ended up being her and Ariana Grande) sounded awful and definitely leaves you with concerns over their treatment of childhood stars.

Jennette McCurdy’s “I’m Glad My Mom Died” is an emotionally charged memoir that captures so much about abusive relationships and self-destruction. Along with touches of dark humour, McCurdy creates a powerful story about finding hope in tragedy. A beacon of light for fellow sufferers and an interesting look at life as a child TV star, I am sure that more will follow the same path!

10 people found this helpful

brooke

Fantastic gripping novel

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on May 29, 2023

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This is a gut wrenching and starkly honest telling of the inner struggles of pain and mental illness caused by a deeply flawed and narcissistic mother and a beautiful and strong woman emerging from the ashes of her tattered younger self. Thank you so much Jennette, for the brutally honest telling of what it's like to flounder through your younger years and how easy it is to get wrapped up in self destructive behavior when you've come from such a destructive home. Highly relatable by your voice and self shine so much as well.

2 people found this helpful

Kristine S. Woeckener

Not Just for "iCarly" Fans

Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on May 16, 2023

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I bought this book on a whim based on the humorous cover. I had never heard of nor seen Jennette McCurdy before, and only dimly knew there was a kid show called "iCarly". I was very happy my hunch paid off with this well-written, thoughtful memior. The author had a truly dysfunctional family and personal life that she recounts with humor and honesty. She threads the needle perfectly, never straying into self-pity nor flippancy. This is not one of those See-How-Brave-I-Am recovery stories, but rather a straightforward accounting of her life told by someone who made it through to the healthy side with her sense of humor intact. I wish her well and have full confidence that she will continue to thrive.

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Buy new: $25.30$25.30 FREE delivery: Saturday, June 10 Ships from: Amazon.ca Sold by: Amazon.ca

Buy used: $20.35

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I'm Glad My Mom Died Hardcover – Aug. 9 2022

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Buy new:

$25.30

FREE delivery: Saturday, June 10

Ships from: Amazon.ca

Sold by: Amazon.ca

Buy used:

$20.35