Marie Cardno

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About Marie Cardno
Marie Cardno lives on top of a windy hill in Wellington, the windiest city in the world. When she's not hiding from the weather, she enjoys curling up with a book and a glass of wine, and writing light-hearted urban fantasy and paranormal romance.
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Books By Marie Cardno
$3.99
$14.99
Life is tough when you’re an eldritch abomination.
Trillin isn’t technically a person. She’s a tiny breakaway piece of consciousness from the all-devouring Endless, doomed to eventually rejoin it. But when a human witch stumbles into her world, Trillin suddenly has a new reason to figure out individuality–one shape-shifting tentacle at a time.
Sian is sure important magical discoveries are just around the corner, if she can just get her portals to work reliably. Reaching the dimension of the Endless without being eaten on sight is a dream come true, and Sian is determined to explore every bit of it. For science, of course, not for the strangely adorable life-form who keeps popping up and trying to… flirt?
But Trillin’s world can be a dangerous place, and keeping Sian safe might risk drawing the attention of the Endless itself–which will swallow Trillin up along with all her dreams of humanity. Together, can this unlikely duo escape the Endless, figure out the optimum number of appendages, and maybe even find love?
How to Get a Girlfriend (When You’re a Terrifying Monster) is a sweet, low-heat F/F sapphic romance between a witch scientist and a shape-shifting Cthulhu monster. HEA guaranteed!
Trillin isn’t technically a person. She’s a tiny breakaway piece of consciousness from the all-devouring Endless, doomed to eventually rejoin it. But when a human witch stumbles into her world, Trillin suddenly has a new reason to figure out individuality–one shape-shifting tentacle at a time.
Sian is sure important magical discoveries are just around the corner, if she can just get her portals to work reliably. Reaching the dimension of the Endless without being eaten on sight is a dream come true, and Sian is determined to explore every bit of it. For science, of course, not for the strangely adorable life-form who keeps popping up and trying to… flirt?
But Trillin’s world can be a dangerous place, and keeping Sian safe might risk drawing the attention of the Endless itself–which will swallow Trillin up along with all her dreams of humanity. Together, can this unlikely duo escape the Endless, figure out the optimum number of appendages, and maybe even find love?
How to Get a Girlfriend (When You’re a Terrifying Monster) is a sweet, low-heat F/F sapphic romance between a witch scientist and a shape-shifting Cthulhu monster. HEA guaranteed!
Other Formats::
Paperback
Her Magical Pet: Benefit F/F Story Collection
15-Oct-2020
by
Elva Birch,
Rachel Manija Brown,
Marie Cardno,
Zoe Chant,
Romana Clifton,
Aster Glenn Gray,
Celia Lake,
Yoon Ha Lee,
Caia Winter,
Pamela Dean
$9.19
Have a shot of concentrated joy, with fourteen stories of women in love... and their adorable magical pets!
All proceeds from the collection will be donated to OutRight Action International, which fights for the rights of LGBTIQ people worldwide.
In this enchanting collection, a flying cat transports love letters, a fox-dog and a pair of watercats help two lonely women launch a post-apocalyptic cat cafe, a baby griffin brings unexpected love to a runaway troll woman, and much, much more!
Includes all-new stories from Yoon Ha Lee, Pamela Dean, Zoe Chant, and more of your favorite authors.
“Deep Spring Farm,” by Romana Clifton. Can Melanie and a friendly ghost dog help a beautiful farmer protect her lettuce from spirits that stomp in the night?
“Lucky Day,” by Yoon Ha Lee. Which is harder, hiding a crush on the gorgeous woman in your role-playing game group, or hiding the unicorn figurine that just came to life?
“Beach Dirt on Bare Feet,” by Louise Long. It’s hard to trust humans when you’re a selkie, especially when a beachside ice cream date could lead to so much more.
“Cute as Hell,” by Caia Winter. You’d think two vampires would be a match for an adorable hellhound puppy, and yet...
“Watercat Cafe,” by Rachel Manija Brown. Ruthie intends to open the first cat cafe in her post-apocalyptic world, but the mysterious, wounded stranger she rescues could doom her dream--or save it.
“How to Get a Girlfriend (When You’re a Terrifying Monster),” by Marie Cardno. Trillin has no corporeal form, no mortal cultists ready to tear reality asunder in her name, and no girlfriend. It's tough being an eldritch entity.
“Pawprints in the Snow,” by Zoe Chant. A lost cat leaves a path to love for a lonely snow leopard shifter.
“As if the Sun Came to Shine,” by Damkianna. An injured baby griffin catalyzes the relationship between a lovely changeling and a troll woman in hiding.
“Uncontrolled Variable,” by Sara Joiner. It's hard to investigate magical seagrass when your mischievous teleporting cat keeps becoming part of the data.
“That Magic Touch,” by Hailey Thorne. Vanessa's ex-BFF wants to tear a hole in reality, and it's going to take all of Vanessa's magic--and the help of a gorgeous Demi-Fae with a sword, not to mention a telepathic dog--to stop her.
“Memories of Magic,” by Elva Birch. An emergency vet gets an unexpected visit from a Christmas elf (not really) with a living plastic toy pegasus (really!)
“A Dog’s Chance,” by Celia Lake. Magician Anna keeps crossing paths with the mysterious dog-walking Una while investigating a case of magical hedgehogs on Hampstead Heath.
“Five Quests and the Oracle,” by Pamela Dean. A new Liavek novelette. Dri’s first acting role in a children’s play is complicated by her obstreperous cat, a pair of menacing wizards, and another first-time actress who wants to do more together than just practice their lines.
“The Mating Call of the Teleporting Warbler,” by Aster Glenn Gray. A winged cat flies love letters back and forth between a professor and a naturalist studying teleporting warblers.
All proceeds from the collection will be donated to OutRight Action International, which fights for the rights of LGBTIQ people worldwide.
In this enchanting collection, a flying cat transports love letters, a fox-dog and a pair of watercats help two lonely women launch a post-apocalyptic cat cafe, a baby griffin brings unexpected love to a runaway troll woman, and much, much more!
Includes all-new stories from Yoon Ha Lee, Pamela Dean, Zoe Chant, and more of your favorite authors.
“Deep Spring Farm,” by Romana Clifton. Can Melanie and a friendly ghost dog help a beautiful farmer protect her lettuce from spirits that stomp in the night?
“Lucky Day,” by Yoon Ha Lee. Which is harder, hiding a crush on the gorgeous woman in your role-playing game group, or hiding the unicorn figurine that just came to life?
“Beach Dirt on Bare Feet,” by Louise Long. It’s hard to trust humans when you’re a selkie, especially when a beachside ice cream date could lead to so much more.
“Cute as Hell,” by Caia Winter. You’d think two vampires would be a match for an adorable hellhound puppy, and yet...
“Watercat Cafe,” by Rachel Manija Brown. Ruthie intends to open the first cat cafe in her post-apocalyptic world, but the mysterious, wounded stranger she rescues could doom her dream--or save it.
“How to Get a Girlfriend (When You’re a Terrifying Monster),” by Marie Cardno. Trillin has no corporeal form, no mortal cultists ready to tear reality asunder in her name, and no girlfriend. It's tough being an eldritch entity.
“Pawprints in the Snow,” by Zoe Chant. A lost cat leaves a path to love for a lonely snow leopard shifter.
“As if the Sun Came to Shine,” by Damkianna. An injured baby griffin catalyzes the relationship between a lovely changeling and a troll woman in hiding.
“Uncontrolled Variable,” by Sara Joiner. It's hard to investigate magical seagrass when your mischievous teleporting cat keeps becoming part of the data.
“That Magic Touch,” by Hailey Thorne. Vanessa's ex-BFF wants to tear a hole in reality, and it's going to take all of Vanessa's magic--and the help of a gorgeous Demi-Fae with a sword, not to mention a telepathic dog--to stop her.
“Memories of Magic,” by Elva Birch. An emergency vet gets an unexpected visit from a Christmas elf (not really) with a living plastic toy pegasus (really!)
“A Dog’s Chance,” by Celia Lake. Magician Anna keeps crossing paths with the mysterious dog-walking Una while investigating a case of magical hedgehogs on Hampstead Heath.
“Five Quests and the Oracle,” by Pamela Dean. A new Liavek novelette. Dri’s first acting role in a children’s play is complicated by her obstreperous cat, a pair of menacing wizards, and another first-time actress who wants to do more together than just practice their lines.
“The Mating Call of the Teleporting Warbler,” by Aster Glenn Gray. A winged cat flies love letters back and forth between a professor and a naturalist studying teleporting warblers.
by
Marie Cardno
$3.99
Dimension-hopping lovers Sian and Trillin find themselves trapped in a world where people are split regardless of gender or life goals into Princesses (for being rescued), Prince Charmings (for doing the rescuing), and Evil Queens (for being rescued from). When the world's fairytale magic latches onto Trillin as a likely Evil Queen, Sian has to fight for her own fairytale ending.