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Sande's book is valuable for the church pastor, layperson, business person, parent, or anyone in a position of authority. Among the important points Sande covers include: 1. Trusting in the Lord to help you resolve a conflict. 2. When to forfeit your rights and when to stand up for them. 3. Examine your own attitude before confronting others. 4. Principles for dealing with yourself and allowing God to transform you. 5. Principles on confronting others in love. 6. How to apply Matthew 18:15-20. 7. Forgive others as God has forgiven you. 8. Overcoming evil with good. A highly recommended read, you do not need to be a pastor or high-powered business executive to benefit from this gem!
This book is absolutely the best book I have read on interpersonal conflict management. Sande presents Scripture after Scripture to support his directives to diffuse disharmony among brothers and sisters in Christ. Having served as a pastor for twenty years and having seen my share of church spats, this book would have been extremely helpful years ago. I highly recommend this volume to all pastors, congregational leaders, and other believers who are seeking a biblical response to conflict in the church. The author also has a website that offers various key concepts of this book in brochure form. The church today could use more works like this one.
Ever had a serious disagreement or conflict with someone in your family, school, work, church, neighbourhood, etc., or know someone who did? If so, this book is for you. Sande discusses 12 types of responses to conflict, seven A's of confession, four promises of forgiveness, the PAUSE principle of negotiating, the Peacemaker's Pledge and some 800 Scriptures related to these. Serious readers will respond to questions at the end of each of the 12 chapters. My graduate students in North America and India loved it.
Parents, teachers and kids' club leaders should also read and discuss "The Young Peacemaker" by Corlette Sande and a set of twelve 10-page kids' activity books by Ross Flint & Associates.
The first time I ready this book, I hated what Ken Sande was telling me how I had to treat those who I was in conflict with. But then (after a time where I had God's help in understanding how He needed me to behave) I read it again and it gave huge insight, guidance and peace as to how to engage in the healing of relationships - this process is still ongoing but without this book, I would not have found the peace I now enjoy. How to interact with others we have difficulty with is often a source of some of our greatest challenges in life A common characteristic is that even though whatever was done to hurt us was done in the past, our emotions towards that still cause us huge unhappiness and occupies much of our thoughts. While the "medicine" prescribed in this book is oh so very difficult to take, it works and will set us free - surely a price worth paying hundreds of times over. The book tells us how to act based on instructions from the Bible, mainly from Jesus's teaching. So, if you are Christian, its difficult to see how you should not follow the advice. And if you are not Christian, and you use the techniques and they work, maybe it would be worth investigating what other good advice the Bible has - in my experience it has lots, much of it like this advice, hard to take but effective. I find it amazing that simple advice given out over 2,000 years ago is still so relevant and powerful today.
Excellent book. Balanced views on reconciliation and repentance. Sometimes victims, in the name of love and forgiveness can be pressured to reconcile when perpetrators have not repented. This book helps stop victim blaming and while advocating forgiveness offered it puts the onus on the perpetrator to receive it with repentance which leads to reconciliation.