"a secret about truth that many people are unwilling to accept: it's usually painful"
This quote, taken from part 2, page 170, chapter 33 really spoke to me. I noted it immediately upon reading, highlighting it, because it really spoke to the theme of this book. That truth is often wrapped with pain...that owning ones truth is often brave, hard and often misunderstood. That speaking ones truth often comes with risk, with people who will continue to read your truth and misquote you, who will cherry-pick and judge based on mistruths, often quoted as others as the gospel.
I started this book with my own opinions, and when I finished this book, I was surprised - surprised to find myself empathizing with almost every major player. Even the ones I had demonized in my own minds eye. I found myself empathizing with what it must feel like to be "owned" by an institution - owned by the public. After all, the public were paying for their very existence. What it must feel like to have to grow up, make mistakes and be judged perhaps more harshly than those of his peers. But I also experienced a level of sympathy for what generations of that family have had to undergo.
Trauma is a major theme that wraps it's tentacles around Harry - long past childhood, it ensnares him, forms his very being. I was surprised to learn many things about his feelings about Diana's passing, ones that would be understandable for any young man to feel, but are more so understandable after what he experienced on a world stage. The descriptions of his feelings are so vivid, so painfully raw, that you can't help but feel for him.
I have to give credit where credit is due - this book is exceptionally well written...this speaks to a very close partnership with Prince Harry's ghost writer, JR Moehringer. I could see Prince Harry pouring over his laptop all night long, writing all his feelings down and then JR, taking those feelings and moments and creating a more aesthetically pleasing, descriptive tome. You never feel like it isn't Prince Harry talking from his heart, but you can see where JR has been able to give such clear description, you feel like you're right there, in the battlefield with Harry - that you're walking along side him during that long walk behind his mom. I usually find biographies exceptionally boring because they feel like a history lesson, and don't speak from the heart. This isn't that type of book. You feel like you're reading from his diary, a very personal and private journey he is giving us access too. His entire life has been shown to the world, by those events were not by his choice. THIS was his choice. His truth.
I don't want to take away from this book so I will not go into specifics because I feel like you should go into this book willing to listen - remove your preconceived notions, drop your prejudice, erase from your memory the stories told by others about him and read his truth. Because if nothing else, why should someone else opinion of you be treated as truth, when their opinions are formed by the very people who have tried to destroy you.
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Spare Hardcover – Jan. 10 2023
by
Prince Harry The Duke of Sussex
(Author)
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It was one of the most searing images of the twentieth century: two young boys, two princes, walking behind their mother’s coffin as the world watched in sorrow—and horror. As Princess Diana was laid to rest, billions wondered what Prince William and Prince Harry must be thinking and feeling—and how their lives would play out from that point on.
For Harry, this is that story at last.
Before losing his mother, twelve-year-old Prince Harry was known as the carefree one, the happy-go-lucky Spare to the more serious Heir. Grief changed everything. He struggled at school, struggled with anger, with loneliness—and, because he blamed the press for his mother’s death, he struggled to accept life in the spotlight.
At twenty-one, he joined the British Army. The discipline gave him structure, and two combat tours made him a hero at home. But he soon felt more lost than ever, suffering from post-traumatic stress and prone to crippling panic attacks. Above all, he couldn’t find true love.
Then he met Meghan. The world was swept away by the couple’s cinematic romance and rejoiced in their fairy-tale wedding. But from the beginning, Harry and Meghan were preyed upon by the press, subjected to waves of abuse, racism, and lies. Watching his wife suffer, their safety and mental health at risk, Harry saw no other way to prevent the tragedy of history repeating itself but to flee his mother country. Over the centuries, leaving the Royal Family was an act few had dared. The last to try, in fact, had been his mother. . . .
For the first time, Prince Harry tells his own story, chronicling his journey with raw, unflinching honesty. A landmark publication, Spare is full of insight, revelation, self-examination, and hard-won wisdom about the eternal power of love over grief.
For Harry, this is that story at last.
Before losing his mother, twelve-year-old Prince Harry was known as the carefree one, the happy-go-lucky Spare to the more serious Heir. Grief changed everything. He struggled at school, struggled with anger, with loneliness—and, because he blamed the press for his mother’s death, he struggled to accept life in the spotlight.
At twenty-one, he joined the British Army. The discipline gave him structure, and two combat tours made him a hero at home. But he soon felt more lost than ever, suffering from post-traumatic stress and prone to crippling panic attacks. Above all, he couldn’t find true love.
Then he met Meghan. The world was swept away by the couple’s cinematic romance and rejoiced in their fairy-tale wedding. But from the beginning, Harry and Meghan were preyed upon by the press, subjected to waves of abuse, racism, and lies. Watching his wife suffer, their safety and mental health at risk, Harry saw no other way to prevent the tragedy of history repeating itself but to flee his mother country. Over the centuries, leaving the Royal Family was an act few had dared. The last to try, in fact, had been his mother. . . .
For the first time, Prince Harry tells his own story, chronicling his journey with raw, unflinching honesty. A landmark publication, Spare is full of insight, revelation, self-examination, and hard-won wisdom about the eternal power of love over grief.
- Print length416 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherRandom House Canada
- Publication dateJan. 10 2023
- Dimensions16.36 x 3.45 x 24.28 cm
- ISBN-101039003753
- ISBN-13978-1039003750
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Product description
About the Author
Prince Harry, The Duke of Sussex, is a husband, father, humanitarian, military veteran, mental wellness advocate, and environmentalist. He resides in Santa Barbara, California, with his family and three dogs.
Product details
- Publisher : Random House Canada (Jan. 10 2023)
- Language : English
- Hardcover : 416 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1039003753
- ISBN-13 : 978-1039003750
- Item weight : 721 g
- Dimensions : 16.36 x 3.45 x 24.28 cm
- Best Sellers Rank: #23 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #1 in United States History (Books)
- #2 in Royalty Biographies (Books)
- #2 in English History (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
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4.5 out of 5 stars
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68,423 global ratings
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I'm half way through this book, and very much enjoying it! Nice to read something coming straight from Prince Harry himself.. instead of rubbish tabloids. If you have a thing for the Royal Family.. you'll enjoy this book 👍
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5.0 out of 5 stars
"...a secret about truth that many people are unwilling to accept: it's usually painful"
Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on January 10, 2023Verified Purchase
Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on May 20, 2023
Verified Purchase
As a British Royal Family follower for many years, I finally read the novel Spare written by Prince Harry. He explains what being the "Spare" means, which is plan B, the shadow, if necessary a spare part or a blood transfusion in case anything happened to the heir, Prince William. He takes the reader through how he dealt with the loss of his mother at the tender age of 12, just a mere 15 days away from his 13th birthday. His father King Charles III called him “my dear son” during the difficult conversation on the death of Princess Diana. His father did not embrace him. Prince Harry reveals that he didn't cry over his mother's death for many years because he didn't fully believe she had died in the crash. In fact he believed his mother had just decided to disappear for a time and then she would call and the boys would go join her.
Prince Harry takes you through his journey of drinking, going to pubs, smoking a joint, going to high school where Prince William asked Harry to pretend that they did not know each other, his relationships and going into combat. Then Prince Harry talks about meeting Meghan Markle and how their love flourished only to be ridiculed with racism and constantly having to deal with the Paparazzi and lies that were printed in the papers. He reveals how Meghan wanted to take her own life just before the couple were to attend a concert while heavily pregnant with Archie and how it became evident that if he wanted to keep his family safe and not lose his wife to the paparazzi like he did his own mother, then he needed to take his family elsewhere.
Being Royal is not an easy task or one that a person would want, especially if you were born into it. Your life is not your own to live but the British Monarch's, such as having to ask the Queen's permission to marry the one you love, to ask permission to marry with a beard because you do not want to shave it off, or to ask permission to get married in certain attire, having someone else higher up tell you what is available on the calendar for a wedding date to marry. Permission for this and permission for that. In regards to emotions, no you simply cannot cry in public if you are a Royal. Your life is the world's life. God forbid if you are seen smoking a cigarette or seen at a pub drinking. For gosh sakes, even royalty or human beings just like the rest of us and good on them for just wanting to live a life that everyone else lives that is NOT royalty.
I have to say that Prince Harry's struggles since the death of his mother were dealt with alone. I feel like there was no one there when their should have been to help him through his grief.
And as for William, well it seems Willy is all about Willy and his "Heir" status. Prince Harry mentions that Prince William hit him, pushing him to the floor after describing Harry's wife as “difficult”, “rude” and “abrasive”.
I do believe that Prince Harry would make a much better King than his father or William. Harry has experienced much and truly has a deep understanding of the different crisis in the world. Not just when it comes to humanity, but African Wildlife as well. When he is aware of a need, he becomes involved and supportive. He and his wife are involved in charities and at one such event, he got emotional while giving a speech for Children with Severe Illnesses because becoming a father deepened his appreciation for the charity's work in supporting sick children . Prince Harry has a dislike for deceit within the Monarchy, lies being printed in the press and his first and foremost priority is not his duty to the British Commonwealth; but his wife and two children. That is what really matters to him. Now if that is not the makings of a true King!!!
Thank you Prince Harry for allowing us to have an insight into your life as a royal and being brave enough to write what no one else has the guts to do.
Prince Harry takes you through his journey of drinking, going to pubs, smoking a joint, going to high school where Prince William asked Harry to pretend that they did not know each other, his relationships and going into combat. Then Prince Harry talks about meeting Meghan Markle and how their love flourished only to be ridiculed with racism and constantly having to deal with the Paparazzi and lies that were printed in the papers. He reveals how Meghan wanted to take her own life just before the couple were to attend a concert while heavily pregnant with Archie and how it became evident that if he wanted to keep his family safe and not lose his wife to the paparazzi like he did his own mother, then he needed to take his family elsewhere.
Being Royal is not an easy task or one that a person would want, especially if you were born into it. Your life is not your own to live but the British Monarch's, such as having to ask the Queen's permission to marry the one you love, to ask permission to marry with a beard because you do not want to shave it off, or to ask permission to get married in certain attire, having someone else higher up tell you what is available on the calendar for a wedding date to marry. Permission for this and permission for that. In regards to emotions, no you simply cannot cry in public if you are a Royal. Your life is the world's life. God forbid if you are seen smoking a cigarette or seen at a pub drinking. For gosh sakes, even royalty or human beings just like the rest of us and good on them for just wanting to live a life that everyone else lives that is NOT royalty.
I have to say that Prince Harry's struggles since the death of his mother were dealt with alone. I feel like there was no one there when their should have been to help him through his grief.
And as for William, well it seems Willy is all about Willy and his "Heir" status. Prince Harry mentions that Prince William hit him, pushing him to the floor after describing Harry's wife as “difficult”, “rude” and “abrasive”.
I do believe that Prince Harry would make a much better King than his father or William. Harry has experienced much and truly has a deep understanding of the different crisis in the world. Not just when it comes to humanity, but African Wildlife as well. When he is aware of a need, he becomes involved and supportive. He and his wife are involved in charities and at one such event, he got emotional while giving a speech for Children with Severe Illnesses because becoming a father deepened his appreciation for the charity's work in supporting sick children . Prince Harry has a dislike for deceit within the Monarchy, lies being printed in the press and his first and foremost priority is not his duty to the British Commonwealth; but his wife and two children. That is what really matters to him. Now if that is not the makings of a true King!!!
Thank you Prince Harry for allowing us to have an insight into your life as a royal and being brave enough to write what no one else has the guts to do.
Top reviews from other countries

Jo-Lee Smith
1.0 out of 5 stars
It's the BIGGEST CON
Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on January 11, 2023Verified Purchase
This book has NOT been security checked for correct information , I feel Meghan and Harry are laughing at me for buying this book , And putting my money in there pockets. Harry can't come up with any dates, says he can't remember the dates of anything , Said he was At college on a Hot summers day when the phone call came about his Great Great Grandmother passing , He was not at school he was Skiing in Switzerland with his Brother ( I remember this) And the papers have come back with the proof. Harry says that his mother bought him an XBox for his 13th birthday in advance of her death that her sister brought to the school for him, again not true the XBox didn't come out till 4 years later . There is so many holes in the book . Every other page has something on it that didn't happen. He takes NO reasonability for ANYthing even when the evidence is staring him in his face. This book is a BIG con, don't waste your money.
3,019 people found this helpful
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The Duke and Duchess of Sussex Fan Account
5.0 out of 5 stars
Emotional human story with unprecedented insight
Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on January 10, 2023Verified Purchase
The searing image of Prince Harry and his brother Prince William walking behind their mother’s coffin is etched in all of our minds. And what I notice throughout is the most seismic event of Harry’s life, when he tragically lost his mother at the age of 12, which shapes the book. There are some interesting (sometimes funny) anecdotes about his royal life when he was younger, but threaded across the pages are also incredibly raw and emotional moments. What is also conveyed very deeply is the pitiful life of “the Spare” - often feeling as though your life has no value, no ultimate mission/goal, you have nothing to offer because you will never wear the Crown. As Prince Harry himself says, when his whole life has been told through the lens of the media, why should he not be able to (finally) tell his own story from the man who lived it! It is undeniably depressing that Harry and Meghan felt they couldn’t continue in their royal roles. They could have been a huge force for good, supporting communities in the UK and the Commonwealth, representing a true Modern Monarchy with their enviable platform and privilege. Leaked excerpts of The Duke’s memoirs don’t do his story justice. The book as a whole is a must read! Highly recommend :)
1,706 people found this helpful
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C L H
1.0 out of 5 stars
It would be good if it wasn’t full of jealousy and whinging.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on January 10, 2023Verified Purchase
Well….the hype was massive and this book was a massive let down. Prince Harry comes across as very jealous and bitter human being that still hasn’t dealt with the tragic death of his mother. Considering the ghostwriter is Pulitzer Prized it’s really badly written, flowery, almost childlike in some chapters. He says it’s “his truth” but is it “the truth”?
1,944 people found this helpful
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