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Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge Paperback – Illustrated, March 13 2012
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- Print length464 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherCleis Press
- Publication dateMarch 13 2012
- Dimensions15.24 x 2.95 x 22.86 cm
- ISBN-10157344779X
- ISBN-13978-1573447799
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Review
-A Roll in the Hay
"I can't recommend this enough."
-Krissy Novacaine
"It's essential reading. Each chapter focuses on a different kink, and each is written by a different expert in that field. It is an excellent tome for introducing someone to kink and for deepening your own interests (if by chance you are into that kind of thing). Contributors include Patrick Califia, Midori, Laura Antoniou, Barbara Carrellas, Lee Harrington, Jack Rinella, Lolita Wolf, Madison Young, Hardy Haberman, Felice Shays, Ignacio Rivera, Sarah Sloane, Mollena Williams, Fifth Angel, and Edge, writing about spanking, bondage, fisting, rough sex, domination, submission, masochism, sadism, tantra, and role play, among others. This is a rock star sex educator lineup which includes just about everything you'd need to know to pique your interest, juice up your Fetlife profile, and get yourself out into the world of leather, BDSM, and kink. It's not a substitute for hands-on learning, classes for which are abundant in most major cities, but it will get you started and deepen your understanding of any of these topics-be they brand new to you or something you'd like to deepen. Tristan Taormino, as usual, gathered the definitive words on the most common kink skills and philosophies, and this book is essential reading for kinky and queer sexual adventures."
-Lambda Literary Summer 2012 Cliterotica Review
"It will educate, inspire, and challenge both newcomers to the world of kink and experienced BDSM players."
-Erotica Readers and Writers Association
"EnterThe Ultimate Guide to Kink. This opens that door for people to embark on that journey of knowledge and understanding, through unique and honest insight from people really in the know. I actually think that's one of the books greatest appeals; rather than this just being a general guide describing various forms and subtypes of kink, it really takes you into the world of each topic. And, I believe, this has been achieved so very well because Tristan Taormino has sought out some of the most experienced and knowledgeablepeople for each topic, to talk about their special areas of interest and expertise (I have included a complete list of contributors and the chapters they wrote at the end of this review), giving the reader the feeling that they really are getting a genuine and authentic insiders view."
-Distinctly Female
"In this collection Taormino smoothly manages the difficult task of creating a book that can speak to a wide range of audiences.The Ultimate Guide to Kink provides what I imagine is an approachable and welcoming introduction to many aspects of BDSM play that I wish I'd had available to me when I jumped into BDSM a decade ago. From Felice Shay's chapter on 'Playing with Rough Sex' to edgier and taboo role play like 'Digging in the Dirt: The Lure of Taboo Role Play' by Mollena Williams, the book truly has something for folks of all experience levels, from a beginner who's curious about exploring to more experienced readers interested in being challenged by discussion of kink community/culture, edge play and consensually pushing our limits.The Ultimate Guide to Kink is a landmark collection destined to be a touchstone classic to recommend to anyone interested in BDSM exploration."
-Lambda Literary
"An informed and informative 475-page compendium focusing upon diverse verse varieties of unconventional human sexuality,The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge by Tristan Taormino provides 'user friendly' techniques and creative ideas for bondage, spanking, flogging, sensation play, rough sex, and incorporating alternative sexual activities into one's sex life. Of special note is the information presented on sexual role-play fantasy. Clearly for an adult readership only,The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge is highly recommended and instructive reading for men and women seeking to expand their experiences with respect to their sexuality."
-Midwest Book Review
"This book is exactly what you need if you have ever had questions about kink. This book is such a nice introduction into kink, and it is also an instructional guide if you are not sure where to begin."
-Kissin Blue Karen
"If you have ever wondered about kink then you need to pick up this book. This book will answer all of you questions. If you are curious about kink or an old hand at it this is a book you need to add to your collection. There are chapters on role-playing, dominance, submission, and much much more. If you are new to kink this book explains the different types of things you can try as well as a having a safeword. There is a chapter that shows you how to do bondage using ropes or scarves. Thereare tips and techniques. They even talk about aftercare at the end of the chapters. This is the complete deal."
-Night Owl Reviews
'So many of the people who write me at 'Savage Love' are curious about kink - some days it accounts for half the mail - but they don't know where to start. I'm going to be recommending this collection of essays. This is more than just a guide to kink, it's more than a sex manual. Editor Tristan Taormino has brought the players, thinkers, and rock stars of the kink scene and together they have created a book that not only lets people know where to start, but why to start, and what they'll getout of it. Vanillas, novices, old hands, old guard - everyone can learn from this collection.'
-Dan Savage
"Tristan Taormino has gifted us with a magnificent collection of essays from kinkdom's finest educators: consider it required reading for every kinkster who lives life on the hot side."-Dossie Easton, co-author ofThe New Topping Book andThe New Bottoming Book
"Tristan Taormino has created a perfect compendium of kink that covers the nuts and bolts (with illustrations!) of spanking, bondage, role-playing, rough sex and much more, as well as the philosophies, motivations and deeply personal experiences of an array of BDSM players. If "Brutal Affection" sounds like an oxymoron to you, read on. Keep a copy in your bedroom-and your toy bag!"
Rachel Kramer Bussel, Editor,Spanked andBest Sex Writing 2012
"Finally, a smart, comprehensive, and brave book on kinky sex for this generation. Tristan Taormino'sUltimate Guide to Kink is the first really good new book on the subject in years. BDSM and kink aficionados are lifelong learners, endlessly fascinated with their own sexual and personal growth. They do love their sex guides! I expect this to be the BDSM bible for the next decade." - Felice Newman, author ofThe Whole Lesbian Sex Book "
From the Back Cover
"This is more than just a guide to kink, it's more than a sex manual. Editor Tristan Taormino has brought the players, thinkers and rock stars of the kink scene and together they have created a book that not only lets people know where to start, but why to start, and what they'll get out of it. Vanillas, novices, old hands, old guardeveryone can learn from this collection." Dan Savage
Award-winning author, filmmaker and sex educator Tristan Taormino presents this bold and sexy treasury that runs the gamut from expert tutorials on kinky erotic practices to thought-provoking essays that delve into complex questions about desire, power and pleasure. The Ultimate Guide to Kink features the expertise of renowned educators writing passionately on their favorite subjects, including Patrick Califia, Midori, Laura Antoniou, Barbara Carrellas, Lee Harrington, Jack Rinella, Lolita Wolf, Madison Young, Hardy Haberman, Felice Shays, Ignacio Rivera, Sarah Sloane, Mollena Williams, FifthAngel and Edge. This comprehensive volume includes:
techniques and creative ideas for bondage, spanking, flogging, sensation play, rough sex and more, illustrated by Katie Diamond
lessons on how to eroticize power, cultivate deeper connections and incorporate kink into your sex life
role-playing fantasies from the popular to the taboo
provocative and personal manifestos on dominance, submission, sadism and masochism"
About the Author
Product details
- Publisher : Cleis Press; Illustrated edition (March 13 2012)
- Language : English
- Paperback : 464 pages
- ISBN-10 : 157344779X
- ISBN-13 : 978-1573447799
- Item weight : 1 g
- Dimensions : 15.24 x 2.95 x 22.86 cm
- Best Sellers Rank: #51,944 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #150 in Sex Instruction (Books)
- #564 in Love & Romance (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the authors
Tristan Taormino is an award-winning author, sex educator, speaker, filmmaker, and radio host. She is the author of seven books, including The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships, The Secrets of Great G-Spot Orgasms and Female Ejaculation, The Big Book of Sex Toys, and True List: Adventures in Sex, Porn and Perversion. She is the editor of more than 25 anthologies including The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge and Take Me There: Trans and Genderqueer Erotica, winner of a 2012 Lambda Literary Award. She was creator and series editor of the Best Lesbian Erotica anthology series. Her books have sold over 500,000 copies and been translated into many languages. She’s written for a multitude of publications from Yale Journal of Law and Feminism to Penthouse, and served as editor of the magazine On Our Backs. She was a syndicated columnist for The Village Voice for nine and a half years and writes an advice column for Taboo Magazine.
She is the producer and host of Sex Out Loud, a weekly radio show on the VoiceAmerica Network. As the head of Smart Ass Productions, she has directed and produced twenty-four sex education and erotic films; she is currently an exclusive director for Vivid Entertainment. Her films have won more than a dozen awards. Tristan and her work have been featured in over 400 publications including O: The Oprah Magazine, The New York Times, Redbook, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Entertainment Weekly, Details, New York Magazine, Men’s Health, and Playboy. She has appeared on HBO’s Real Sex, The Howard Stern Show, Melissa Harris-Perry, Loveline, MTV, CNN, NBC, MTV, Oxygen, Fox News, The Discovery Channel, and on over a hundred radio shows; she was the resident sex expert and a recurring guest on two seasons of Ricki Lake.
Tristan’s work, writing and films are routinely used in college courses to explore the complex issues of relationship and sexual diversity, politics and media. As a speaker, she is widely regarded as an expert on a diverse range of topics from sexual empowerment and LGBTQ sexuality to non-monogamy and feminist pornography. She lectures at top colleges and universities including Yale, Cornell, Princeton, Brown, Harvard, Columbia, Smith, Johns Hopkins, and UCLA, where she speaks on gay and lesbian issues, sexuality and gender, and feminism. She teaches sex and relationship workshops around the world.
Lee Harrington is an internationally known spiritual and erotic authenticity educator, gender explorer, eclectic artist and award-winning author and editor on human erotic and sacred experience. He is a nice guy with a disarmingly down to earth approach to the fact that we are each beautifully complex ecosystems, and we deserve to examine the human experience from that lens. He’s been traveling the globe (from Seattle to Sydney, Berlin to Boston), teaching and talking about sexuality, psychology, faith, desire and more, and is grateful for the journeys and love he has found along the way. He has been an academic and a female adult film performer, a world class sexual adventurer, an outspoken philosopher, is a kink/bondage expert, and has been blogging about sex and spirituality since 1998. Read more about Lee at PassionAndSoul.com.
Madison Young is a sex positive Tasmanian devil. This sexpert grew up in the suburban landscape of Southern Ohio before moving to San Francisco, California in 2000. Since then this mid-western gal has dedicated her days to facilitating safe space to dialogue on the topic of fringe identities and cultures as well as documenting healthy expression of sexuality. Young’s breadth of work in the realm of sexuality spans from documenting our sexual culture in her feminist erotic films to serving as the Artistic Director of the forward thinking non-profit arts organization, Femina Potens Art Gallery.
Barbara Carrellas is an author, sex/life coach, sex educator, university lecturer, workshop facilitator, motivational speaker and theater artist. Her most recent books are "Ecstasy is Necessary: A Practical Guide to Sex, Relationships, and Oh So Much More," "Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex for the Twenty-First Century" and "Luxurious Loving: Tantric Inspirations for Passion and Pleasure". Barbara's pioneering Urban Tantra® workshops were named best in New York City by TimeOut/New York magazine. In 2016 she was awarded a Sexual Freedom Award for Lifetime Achievement.
Barbara currently offers inspiring and life-changing workshops, lectures, and keynotes on a variety of topics to individuals, schools, conferences, businesses, and the arts.
Barbara is also a Sex/Life coach, offering her clients sex information and education, intuitive readings, emotional and mental rebalancing, resources and referrals. The essence of her work is the inseparable connection between your sex life and the rest of your life, and the happy integration of body, mind, and spirit.
Barbara brings a holistic, metaphysical, practical, humorous, entertaining and gender-fluid approach to conscious sexuality and to all her work. She began her work in metaphysics and conscious sexuality during the AIDS crisis in the late 1980’s—a time when the connections between sex, spirit and healing were at their most strained. Barbara has facilitated countless healing circles and support groups for women, men, transgender people, artists, people with life-threatening illnesses and people with HIV/AIDS. For four years she was a facilitator for and on the Board of Directors of the New York Healing Circle, which was founded in response to the AIDS crisis and incorporated the principles of Louise Hay's work. As her workshops grew in popularity and in attendance, her work expanded to include people from all walks of life and in all stages of sexual evolution.
The more Barbara explored sex and consciousness, the more she saw the possibilities for healing and expanded consciousness in all forms of “sacred” practices, including Tantra, Tao, Quodoushka, Reiki, breathwork, metaphysics, performance, ritual, herbal medicine, bodywork, erotic massage, commercial sex work and BDSM. Her books and her workshops are an eclectic mix of sexual and spiritual practices designed to encourage readers and participants of all sexual preferences and genders to expand their capacity for both pleasure and spiritual fulfillment.
Barbara taught Caitlyn Jenner and her friends how to have gender-free orgasms on the E! reality series I Am Cait and was featured in the Learning Channel’s Unusual Orgasms segment of the series Strange Sex. She has also appeared in numerous episodes of the HBO television series Real Sex, Australian television’s Sex/Life and on Britain’s Sky Channel as part of the documentary, Sex in America. She has been featured in the videos Selfloving, The Sluts & Goddesses Video Workshop, Annie Sprinkle’s Amazing World of Orgasm, Betty Dodson’s Selfloving, Zen Pussy, and in the film Sacred Sex. She collaborated with Annie Sprinkle to present a new/ancient vision of female sexuality in theatrical form in MetamorphoSex, a week-long workshop for women culminating in ritual-performances. She also directed the Australian premiere of Annie’s renowned one-woman show, Post Porn Modernist. Barbara is proud to have enjoyed a lifelong theatrical career as a general manager, producer and theatre manager on Broadway, Off-Broadway and in alternative theatre in New York. She is still active as a performance artist and director.
Barbara has lectured at many educational institutions, including Harvard University, Brown University, Vassar College, Barnard College, Sara Lawrence College, Wesleyan University, the Chicago Art Institute and Yale University. She frequently collaborates with her partner, Kate Bornstein, with whom she performs and tours their sex positive, gender-bending lecture/performance piece There And Back Again: An Epic Tale of Sex, Death, and Gender.
Barbara is a certified sexologist (ASC, American College of Sexologists) and a member of AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists).
Barbara is a proud graduate of the Coney Island Sideshow School with a double major in fire eating and snake handling.
This "Delicate, Trembling Flower of Submission" © is a NYC born and raised writer, actress, BDSM Educator, Storyteller and an Award-Winning Executive Pervert. She currently lives in NYC, and is owned by her Maestro, an internationally renowned contemporary composer. She is extremely proud to have served as International Ms Leather 2010. She is also thrilled to have been named Ms. San Francisco Leather 2009 after that contest's decade long slumber.
She is deeply honored and profoundly humbled to have been selected to receive the 2012 Jack McGeorge Award for Excellence in Education by Black Rose, and is thrilled to have won the the National Leather Association's 2012 Cynthia Slater Non-Fiction Article Award. She was a finalist for the 21st Annual Pantheon of Leather's Woman of the Year & Northern California Regional Awards. You can watch her being interviewed for the Women's Leather History Project, as curated by the Leather Archives and Museum. Her short film "IMPACT." made its debut at the 2012 ASKEW! Film Festival, curated by Madison Young and presented by the Yerba Buena Center for the Arts in San Francisco, California.
Her latest project, is co-authored with Lee Harrington "Playing Well With Others: Your Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities" hit the streets mid-September, 2012. She is the author of the "Toybag Gude: Taboo Play." Her essays appear in 2 anthologies curated by Rachel Kramer Bussel: "BDSM and Race Play" appears in "Best Sex Writing 2010," and "Kiss my Boots" is featured in "The Lust Chronicles." Her challenging essay on "race play" is featured in"Spirit of Desire: Personal Journeys in Sacred Kink" edited by Lee Harrington. Not one but two essays commissioned by Tristan Taormino appear in the groundbreaking anthology "The Ultimate Guide to Kinky Sex." Mollena is pleased and delighted to be a featured educator with The Kink Academy, where you can see clips of her speaking on various and sundry topics! She is also a columnist for SexIs Magazine, where she lets loose twice a month on just about anything.
Exploring kink since 1993, active in BDSM and the Leather Community since 1996, and presenting classes since 1998, she speaks at Leather, BDSM and Kink events across the US, Europe and Canada on many Leather and BDSM focused topics. She also brings the knowledge on Kink, BDSM and Leather to such august institutions of higher learning as SF State and Cal State, Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Stamford, and Brown for IvyQ. She has been invited to present this fall for MIT.
Mollena's been sober since 3-14-2007 and in December that same year, she founded "Safeword," a 12-step based recovery group for all kinksters seeking recovery from addiction.
International Ms Leather 2010 was truly an international title year with visits to the Pride Festival in Stockholm, Sweden, where she made history as the first Leatherwoman ever invited to march with the venerable Scandinavian Leathermen's Association! She's also done her thing in Dublin, Ireland, Berlin, Germany, the UK: toured Amsterdam, Netherlands for Leather Pride, as well as teaching and performing in Vancouver, Canada. A roll-up of her epic IMsL 2010 title year can be found here!
Her background includes a lifetime of training and involvement in the performing arts, which include spoken word, classical theater, dance, performance art, and all manner of stagecraft. Performing professionally since the age of 5, her credits include singing on the soundtrack for the movie The Wiz and co-starring with Danny Bonaduce in the underground cult-classic America's Deadliest Home Video. Her first solo show,69Stories: One Pervert's Tale was a hit in Vancouver in November 2010 and Madison Wisconsin, July 2012. You can see an excerpt from it here ("Kiss My Boots" part One, and Part Two) as performed at Rachel Kramer Bussel's In the Flesh storytelling series. She is a favorite at Dixie De La Tour's Bawdy Storytelling, has performed for many storytelling venues including Bare! Stories, Tiny, Dangerous Fun Audacia Ray's Red Umbrella Diaries, Carol Queen's Perverts Put Out, and was a guest on Kevin Allison's Risk! Podcast. She has also thrown down onstage for Porchlight Storytelling and has told for NPR's Snap Judgement.
As a model, Mollena has been featured on the Folsom Street Fair 2010 Poster, as well as modeling for Stormy Leather. She has worked with many well-known and renowned kink, Leather and fetish photographers, including Stacie Joy, Leland Carina, Aeric Meredith-Goujon, Melvin Moten, Don Sir and Michele Serchuk: who's photograph of Mollena posing with fellow educator Graydancer was featured in the Seattle Erotic Arts Festival 2010.
She is chuffed to have been interviewed for the Leather Archives & Museum's Women's Leather History Project. Recent interviews with Mo can be found on Jezebel and on Princeton University's Equal Writes website. You can also read her 2010 interview with SexisIs Magazine. She was featured in a groundbreaking interview at TheGrio.com on BDSM and race, and also interviewed by Sharon Glassman for the Huffington Post. Her work's also been published by the Society Of Janus Newsletter, The Eulenspiegel Society's magazine, Prometheus, as well as the online magazine at ALT.COM and Bondage.com. She has been interviewed for The Bottoming Book, ColorLines Magazine, Bitch Magazine, Abiola Abrams: Love, Sex & Dasting, The Playboy Advisor, Sexploration with Monika and The Reverend Mel Show, SexIs Magazine, The Huffington Post, Jezebel and Racialicious to name a few! She is featured in the award winning documentary "Vice & Consent". You can also see her all tied up in the instructional video, "Jay Wiseman Teaches Rope Bondage"
A founding member of Crowded Fire Theater Company, and former co-host of San Francisco's Queer Open Mic, Mo blogs on http://mollena.com. Her blog, The Perverted Negress, has been a featured blog on Fleshbot (not Once but TWICE!) as well as the pick of the week for The Sugasm. And boy howdy, the venerated Jane's Guide thinks The Perverted Negress' Blog is pretty rad! Mollena is also a member of Mama's Leather Family (#1231) , formally dubbed "Mama's Perverted Negress" and pinned in at the SF Eagle by Mama Sandy Reinhardt herself. She Twitters incessantly over on http://twitter.com/mollena, so follow her there!
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