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Name: Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls: Books - Amazon.ca
Rating: 4.5 (357 reviews)

Rachel Simmons

Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls Hardcover

4.5 357 ratings

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Rosalind Wiseman
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Product details

ASIN ‏ : ‎ B0002D6CSO
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Item weight ‏ : ‎ 612 g

Best Sellers Rank: #1,632,230 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #969 in Children's Studies
- #2,872 in Adolescent Psychology (Books)
- #4,945 in Social Psychology & Interactions (Books)

Customer Reviews:
4.5 357 ratings

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Rachel Simmons

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Rachel Simmons is the author of Enough As She Is: How to Help Girls Move Beyond Impossible Standards of Success to Live Healthy, Happy and Fulfilling Lives, and the New York Times bestsellers Odd Girl Out and The Curse of the Good Girl. As an educator, Rachel teaches girls and women skills to build their resilience, amplify their voices, and own their courage so that they—and their relationships—live with integrity and health.

The cofounder of national nonprofit Girls Leadership, she is an experienced curriculum writer and educator. She is currently the leadership development specialist at the Wurtele Center for Leadership at Smith College, and is Girls Research Scholar in Residence at The Hewitt School in New York. Rachel has served as a national spokesperson for the Always #LikeAGirl and Keds Brave Life Project campaigns, and consults nationally on women’s professional development.

Rachel was the host of the PBS television special, “A Girl’s Life,” and her writing has appeared in the Washington Post, Atlantic, Slate, and The New York Times. Rachel is a regular contributor to Good Morning America and appears often in the national media. Odd Girl Out was adapted into a highly acclaimed Lifetime television movie. Rachel lives in Western Massachusetts with her daughter.

Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5

357 global ratings

5 star		70%
4 star		15%
3 star		9%
2 star		4%
1 star		2%

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Top reviews from Canada

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Jan

Aha!

Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on March 11, 2013

Verified Purchase

A must read for any mother of a daughter or a woman in search of herself -at any age. Provided many 'aha' moments and provided insight on a childhood endured 50 years ago. This book explains girl society and female bullying in a clear-headed, objective style. Not just a by-woman-for-women only read. Adds depth and perception to an overlooked aspect of female behaviour and interaction that has profound effect and echoes throughout a female's Kidd span. Very illuminating and informative and sadly, a one of a kind. This aspect of female behaviour warrants so much more exploration.

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Natalia Pierce

An excellent resource for the elementary counselling office

Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on January 16, 2017

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An excellent resource for the elementary counselling office! This is a book I keep in my personal library and often recommend to parents .

Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on January 24, 2015

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This book is a must read for all parents of girls.

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Bookwurm

Parents, teachers, youthworkers, artsworkers, READ IT

Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on July 9, 2004

You know, I get so sick to death of scientists with their graphs, their figures, their boxes and numbers, because the majority of this research actually has very little real value.
Have you ever seen any of the questions they ask these young people in that research? They have to classify on how many isolated occasions they are bullied during a day, a week, a month and the answers to that are all put in graphs. Bullying is generally classified by types such as physical bullying, exclusion, namecalling and so on.
The problem with this method is that it assumes a whole number of things it should not assume! For a start, a lot of bullying does not happen in single isolated incidents but in an endless stream of small continual pinpricks, the sum of which cause a person unbelievable distress, but when a (young) person tries to explain what is going on they sound petty. "It was just a joke"
What about hate campains, where everything is under the surface, where one person gets bumped into twenty times a day, stepped on, 'actidentally' pushed down the stairs, 'accidentally' hit over the head with a bag several times a day by different people, every single time followed by a 'oops, sorry about that'? What about the systematic putting down of someone through a whole range of little things, but by a (so-called) close friend, something that would not even be classified as bullying by the victim, even though it can be very abusive? How would that fit into any of these neat little boxes?
The problem is that a lot of the bullying is so subtle that the victim is never quite sure whether they are imagining things and when they do stand up for themselves, they often get classed by teachers as a problem kid, rather than as a victim of harrassment by the rest of the group.
Another problem with this research is that it assumes that the
split between bully and victim is very clear cut. I work in the performing arts with young people, specialising in socio economically disadvantaged areas, where bullying is a big issue and I can tell you from experience that this is definately not the case. An entire gruop, including the school administration, the teachers, the parents, they are ALL part of this bullying culture, either by tolerating it or by actively pursuing it. If one kid makes a nasty joke, isn't there a whole class to cheer him or her on? And the cheerers, how many of those cheer because they fear they may be next?
There are many teachers who function by picking on one kid and using and abusing this kid on a continual basis to keep a class quiet. What appears on a graph? Not much bullying going on, is there, just one annoying kid throwing around accusations, not to be taken seriously. None of the other kids back him up, do they? But what is that teacher teaching those kids?
It was about time that a scientist took the effort to go back to square one and look at what is actually going on in schools, to redefine bullying, based on what they see rather than assume and that is exactly what Rachel Simmons did.
So why does she not work with these precious little numbers? Because what she has to say does not fit into little numbers. Because she actually listened to these girls and did not tell them to squeeze their experiences into what she had decided was happening to them.
I think this book is fantastic. I am working on a big project next year, using theatre techniques to combat bullying cultures and have done a lot of research so far. This is the single most useful book I have found. It reads easily, the anekdotes are good, and every step of the way I can hear myself think - yes, I recognise that - but she managed to put it in words and in context.
She defines girl-bullying as different from boy bullying and you can agree with these gender theories or not, what remains is that her book gives incredibly powerfull descriptions of an aspect of bullying that needs to be explored.
Lastly, responding to one of the other reviews: Rachel Simmons is in my opinion not stating that girls should go out and hit people, expressing their agression. What I read is that they, unlike boys, are denied an outlet for their agression by society, which I believe is very true. It is considered unacceptable for a girl to vent agression, as is accaptable for boys. That does not mean it is right for boys to vent their agression through hitting, or that girls should be allowed to, Simmons is just stating the reasons for girls taking their agression underground.
We need to find NEW accaptable ways for young people to vent their agression, ways that do not hurt others.

2 people found this helpful

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ana ramriez

Odd Girl Out

Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on June 3, 2004

If you've ever been left out or hurt by a close friend, then this is the book to read. Many girls believe they are the only ones who have been put through torture from their close friends, or girls at school; after reading this book, they will realize they are not alone.
This book is one of few that girls will say, "That happened to me!" The way the author Rachel Simmons incorporates interviews, stories, facts, and opinions on how society effects girls' behaviors, keeps the reader interested all through out the book.
This book is not only for women who can relate to the hardships, but also for everyone who wants to learn a little about the way women work.
The author recognizes that every girl has been on each side of passive aggressive disputes. She tells stories about her troubles has a girl growing up and then stories of older women who have grown to learn from their experiences. Not all of the women pick up the same things from their childhood, but most don't realize or regret the way they treated other girls because they think the other one deserved it.
Simmons goes around different schools all over the country to see how people's way of life effect the way they that deal with their problems. Over all most of the girls deal with the problems the same because the same pressures are all over in the United States.
Towards the middle of the book, Simmons decides to write more stories from different girls at different times. Some of the girls are women now and they have sent an e-mail of their story and others are interviewed in person. It was easier for the women to tell their stories because they have learned from them and have gotten over them. But the girls that are in their teens and have recent stories seem to have to tell their stories in secret. Simmons makes it clear that a lot of the girls are uncomfortable at the beginning of the interview because they're not sure if they should be telling the stories. It seems like they're telling on their friends and making them seem like bad people.
It is a strange thing to see these girls wanting to still be friends with the ones that have hurt them, so they try and put it behind them. This issue is brought up in the recent movie "Mean Girls" when one of the girls is being mistreated and neglected by her "best friend", she tries even harder to become friends with the girl who is mistreating her.
One other case of stories and opinions is when Simmons goes to elementary and middle schools and has classes with groups of girls. In her first few sessions, she didn't know how to have the girls open up about the subject because a lot of them were cautious about what they said in front of other girls at their school. But once Simmons broke into their clique world, the girls started to open up and more conversations stared to happen about how girls felt when they were being mistreated and how they feel they are supposed to act.
I myself have had experiences that I wish I could have shared amongst a group of girls, but I never had the chance to have an open discussion at school about it. The only time the subject arose was in my Women's Issues Workshop class. Not only did the class talk about cliques, but also we talked about the pressures outside of girls that make us feel we have to act a certain way. This is also what a big section of the book was about. Once Simmons brings the reader into the inner working of cliques and the way girls handle their situations, she gets into the pressures of society and the two images that women are supposed to live up to.
There is the one image that women are supposed to be passive, delicate, and pure. But then there is the image that we are supposed to be stronger and able to survive in the world of men, opinionated, independent, and aggressive all at the same time. The first image is an older model of a woman, and the second is a modern version, and girls don't know which one to follow. So they try not to show any aggressiveness in public because it isn't acceptable for women to be physically aggressive, so they have to find other ways to let out their aggression.
Over all I really enjoyed reading this book because it helped me understand more about what girls were going through and how I could help other friends if they were going through the same problems.

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Top reviews from other countries

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RainyDayRun

Great Resource

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on September 2, 2018

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With a 5 year old daughter, I wanted to understand her already complex relationship with her friends. This book, while about older kids, has been a great resource to help me see relational aggression from the child's point of view. I've recommended this book to many other parents and will continue to do so.

The final chapter has some suggestions on how to help parent your child through these situations. There are also quotes from children about what they find helpful from their parents.

MsG

A book for everyone...

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on January 6, 2010

Verified Purchase

As relevant to adult women as to school-age girls.

My library copy went back today but I just had to buy another to re-read.

5 people found this helpful

Tina

Amazing book

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on November 8, 2012

Verified Purchase

As a mother of an 'odd girl out' at last i have something to relate to! Im not going mad!

One person found this helpful

mr jn hilton

great product a++++++++++++++

Reviewed in the United Kingdom 🇬🇧 on October 6, 2014

Verified Purchase

great product a++++++++++++++

Amazonのお客様

女の子たちの隠れた'いじめ'に迫った良書

Reviewed in Japan 🇯🇵 on October 13, 2002

Verified Purchase

本書は、アメリカで女の子のいじめの実態を調査したフィールドノートをまとめたものである。けれど、著者は、それ以上の意図を持って書いている。それは、陰険で、時には生涯にわたるトラウマを残しかねない女の子の隠れたいじめが、深刻な問題であるということ。そして、その原因が女の子達が抱く「女の子らしさ」にあるというものである。筆者は、たとえばそれを集団のリーダーが持つべき素質と比較しながら、如何にそれらが対照的かを示している。そして結論として、実態を理解すると共に、この「女の子らしさ」の意味を変えてゆくべきだと主張する。
丹念に調べられた事例を利用して、様々な角度から「いじめ」に迫った著作であるが、難を言えば、各テーマにそって事例から結論を導くやり方に'speculati!ve!'なものを感じると言うこと。
また、いじめという日常の人間関係を扱った著作であるので、語学学習者、特にアメリカでの日常生活を考えている人に最適かもしれない。
ちなみに、この本は、翻訳されないんだろうか??　されるべきだと思う。

14 people found this helpful

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Odd Girl Out: The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls Hardcover

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