![Odd Girl Speaks Out: Girls Write about Bullies, Cliques, Popularity, and Jealousy by [Rachel Simmons]](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/41W6FHRvUcL._SY346_.jpg)
When someone say's to you, "Oh! They're just jealous. Give them time. They will come around, 'Do you question your sanity?'"
And, isn't this another way of telling you that you are flawed, that you should feel ashamed of yourself, and that you need to give up being who you are - or else?"
"Odd Girl Speaks Out," is a wonderful book, written with 11-22 year-old girls in mind. But, every woman can get something out of this, because by age 8, and for the rest of our lives, we are socialized with these 3 unspoken rules:
1. Don't Compete;
2. Don't Outdo; and,
3. Make the guys more valuable to you, than girls could possibly be.
We are also socialized to not directly confront conflict, especially with other girls.
And we learn, at an early age, to base our worthiness upon hanging onto our best girlfriends, at the price of our own worthiness.
I'm so glad to have read this book, because each letter, written by the 11-22 year-old contributors, reminds us that Girl Power is not about seeking legislative rights, although I wouldn't want to reverse what our foremothers have given us.
Girl Power also is not about blaming men for what we haven't succinctly communicated to them.
Girl Power is about facing the reality of the darker side of being girls. It is where we stop seeking targets in other women/girls, to make them look worse than we feel about ourselves. Allgirls are socialized to believe that power for girls is limited, and that if the other girl has it, she has taken away all the possibility for her to have power.
What troubled me, though, about this book were 2 things:
1. Never did the author explore how girl bullying is passed on between the mother/daughter wounds, and the decisions that mother make about what society expects of them.
2. Throughout this book, Simmons advocates girls changing schools when things are overwhelmingly difficult. The problem with this is: You are leaving with yourself. Whatever wound you have, whatever disempowering habit you created in reaction to being attacked is something that you will express at the new school, until you overcome your fears, and develop skills to defuse and deflect negative energy that is coming towards you, from others.
That being said, I still appreciate reading this book, and knowing that Simmons is brave enough to turn her own experiences into helping millions of others around the world.
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NATIONAL BESTSELLER. When Odd Girl Out was first published, it ignited a long-overdue conversation about the hidden culture of female bullying. In this updated edition, educator and bullying expert Rachel Simmons offers proven and innovative strategies for navigating social dynamics in person and online.
Simmons gives step-by-step parental parental suggestions for dealing with conventional bullying. Full of research-backed advice and real-life stories, Odd Girl Out continues to be a powerful resource on the most pressing social issues facing girls today.
Simmons gives step-by-step parental parental suggestions for dealing with conventional bullying. Full of research-backed advice and real-life stories, Odd Girl Out continues to be a powerful resource on the most pressing social issues facing girls today.
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherHarperOne
- Publication dateJan. 19 2004
- Reading age14 years and up
- Grade level9 - 12
- File size734 KB
Product description
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
THE SOUND OF A GIRL'S VOICE
Introduction
I was worried about Emma. She'd been at my girls' leadership camp for three days and had barely spoken. She was twelve, with dark hair and soft, downcast eyes. Even though she sat with the other girls at meals, I couldn't tell if she was really making friends. She was short and quiet and easily invisible.
One afternoon, I led a lively discussion about bullying among girls. A few hours later, after swimming, there was a knock at my door. It was Emma. Delighted, I started to welcome her, and before I could finish my sentence she was telling me a story, something she had kept so secret she was afraid that even to greet me might change her mind.
It was Valentine's Day in fifth grade, and Emma had driven her best friends crazy with her crush on Zack. She hoped he knew how she felt, prayed for a card from him, doodled his name inside her notebook.
It was also the day after her best friend sat their clique in a circle at lunchtime and gave them each a grade out of one hundred. It was a weekly ritual that Emma anticipated with a mixture of dread and hope. Each time, she hoped she would make it out of the sixties and into C range. Yesterday, she'd gotten a fifty-nine, a point below passing.
Today, when she went to her locker during social studies, the curling, shiny red paper was there, protruding out of the locker door. Slowly, she opened the card. "Dear Emma," it read, "I love the way your fat spills over your jeans when you wear those tight shirts. Will you be my valentine? Love, Zack."
She looked out my window, then back at me.
"I can't stop thinking of that image, over and over again," she told me. Emma had been making herself throw up ever since.
I began consoling her frantically, but she only nodded. I wasn't entirely sure she could hear me. By dinner, I knew it didn't matter. Emma was talking and laughing with the other seventh grade girls. The next day, she began raising her hand in discussions. When it was time for the girls to run their own discussions, Emma convinced her group to return to the topic of girl bullying. She served as the moderator. Then, standing before more than thirty people, Emma told the other girls exactly what had happened to her.
To write Odd Girl Out, I met with hundreds of girls in groups. We'd sit on the floor in a circle, cross-legged and munching snacks. I figured girls would be more comfortable talking together about bullying, meanness, and conflict. I thought they talked about it all the time.
I was wrong. When I asked them questions about direct confrontation, there was silence. A hand crept into the air, and a girl confided her fear of losing friends. Another confessed she might say something she didn't mean. The others stared at her, hesitated, then raised their hands and started talking. Whispers skittered through the room.
It soon became clear that most girls thought they were the only ones afraid of losing friends, the only ones who felt like their world might end if they did, the only ones with secrets about being bullies and victims, with knots in their stomachs as they entered the cafeteria and wondered where to sit.
As their voices grew more confident, their relief was palpable. They hadn't talked about this at all, and it thrilled them to realize they weren't alone. Sitting with the girls, watching them watch each other, was one of the most exciting parts of the Odd Girl Out project.
I invited young writers to tell their stories of bullying and friendship because I wanted girls to talk directly to each other about the hidden culture of aggression. I wanted to give every girl a chance to be a part of those discussion circles.
In Odd Girl Out, I explored how our culture affects the ways girls show their anger. Through powerful messages sent by parents, teachers, friends, and the media, girls learn that anger will not be tolerated; that they must sit quietly and behave like perfect little angels; that they cannot be ugly to anyone; and that breaking any of these rules will bring swift, severe punishment.
But much as girls try, bad feelings can't be wished or forced away. As a result, many girls hide their anger, using body language (the silent treatment), relationships (ganging up and threatening not to be friends with someone), and indirect aggression (rumors, gossip, the Internet) to express their true feelings. Others stifle their feelings, becoming depressed, cutting themselves, or developing eating disorders.
When girls are mean to each other, most people shrug it off. Determined to keep its girls "sugar and spice and everything nice," society turns a blind eye to girls' aggression. "Girls will be girls," they say. Or, they cluck, "It's a phase all girls go through."
As a result, most girls suffer alone. Their situations aren't addressed, their pain is private, and their problems hidden. Now, that's changing. We're starting to think about what girls do as "aggression," not just a "rite of passage." Odd Girl Out and Rosalind Wiseman's Queen Bees and Wannabees began building a public consciousness of what it means to be hurt in social, relational, or indirect ways.
We must continue that process, this time in girls' voices. Girls need to tell their own stories, to each other and to the world. This book is intended not only to help girls but also to be a powerful declaration, a kind of petition signed by girls.
My strongest memory of being bullied as a third grader was the feeling that no one had ever gone through what I had. If that was true, then it also was true that I was a loser of epic proportions, and that what happened was clearly my fault. Those feelings of responsibility marked me deeply. They had a huge impact on my self-esteem. I know I ended up writing Odd Girl Out because of them.
But I hadn't just been a victim. I did something terrible to a close friend when I was fourteen. As the years passed, I buried the memory deep inside my mind. I lied to myself and others about who I was, convinced I had never been anything but nice. Later in the book, I'll explore how hiding a real, human part of my personality damaged my ability to have healthy conflicts with my friends and nearly denied Anne the dignity of an apology.
When you realize the confusion, panic, pain, hurt, and anger you experienced is something that millions of other girls have gone through, it changes things. First of all, it's a lot harder to blame yourself as a victim. Second, when you understand your situation and see it as something relatively common, it gives you a context for your pain, not to mention some perspective. Finally, if you were a bully, understanding that aggression is normal can help you take responsibility for your actions and grow as a person in significant ways.
Telling her story freed Emma from silence and shame. It gave her back some of the joys of girlhood that had been taken from her. I know I can't erase the searing loneliness of being an odd girl out. Yet I hope this book will give girls a sense of community, an opportunity to share strategies and solace, and most of all, the knowledge that even the worst kind of heartbreak improves with time.
What Girls Do
A shake of the head, a roll of the eyes
The rumors the lies
They no longer play on your pride
But rip you up inside
This is what girls do
This is what they say
It is like this every day
The mothers reply
But that is a lie
Walking in the hall
Taking in it all
All alone no one home
Kids shouting, kids staring
All this torture I'm bearing
No one caring
-age 12
Growing from the Pain
Grammar school is where aggression all began for me. I went to a little Catholic private school, in a little "dandy" town in New Jersey. Everyone was friends with everyone else; it was hard not to be, in a class of thirty-five! But even that had its downfalls.
It all started in the sixth grade when little groups and cliques of girls formed. I seemed to fit in with everyone, not because I was popular but because I was always the "nice girl." I won "nicest" in the yearbook and "most Christianlike" at church. But even being nice had its downfalls. People could easily take advantage of you and in my case this one girl, Alisa, somehow became my nightmare.
It all began when she started to become best friends with all my friends. I loved it at first because it became one "happy group" but little by little I noticed Alisa slowly acting differently toward me. Then the stories started. Lie after lie, rumor after rumor was created as I sat there in awe of why and what she was trying to do to me. It just didn't make sense. Another problem I had was that I was very shy and hardly stood up for myself because even when I tried, Alisa would often "shut me down" and turn things around once again.
My life seemed to be a bad dream playing over and over again in my mind. "Poor Alisa" tried to turn things around and accused me of doing what she had done
to me (which of course never happened). Then eighth grade graduation came. I thought I would finally be able to get away from the misery I was put through.
I remember sitting at home crying for hours, thinking how she got away with all she put me through and why she tried to make my life so miserable. Even when I went to my best friends for advice (which were also her best friends, conveniently), they would just say that they didn't want to get involved because no one wanted to get tied up in "Alisa's lies." Half of them had been there and no one wanted to go through it time after time.
I finally thought when high school came along it would end! But of course it didn't. Alisa followed me right to high school along with ten other girls from my old school. I made a promise to myself at that point that I wouldn't let her bring me down. This was my time to shine. My high school years were going to be memorable and I was going to be out the... --This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.
Introduction
I was worried about Emma. She'd been at my girls' leadership camp for three days and had barely spoken. She was twelve, with dark hair and soft, downcast eyes. Even though she sat with the other girls at meals, I couldn't tell if she was really making friends. She was short and quiet and easily invisible.
One afternoon, I led a lively discussion about bullying among girls. A few hours later, after swimming, there was a knock at my door. It was Emma. Delighted, I started to welcome her, and before I could finish my sentence she was telling me a story, something she had kept so secret she was afraid that even to greet me might change her mind.
It was Valentine's Day in fifth grade, and Emma had driven her best friends crazy with her crush on Zack. She hoped he knew how she felt, prayed for a card from him, doodled his name inside her notebook.
It was also the day after her best friend sat their clique in a circle at lunchtime and gave them each a grade out of one hundred. It was a weekly ritual that Emma anticipated with a mixture of dread and hope. Each time, she hoped she would make it out of the sixties and into C range. Yesterday, she'd gotten a fifty-nine, a point below passing.
Today, when she went to her locker during social studies, the curling, shiny red paper was there, protruding out of the locker door. Slowly, she opened the card. "Dear Emma," it read, "I love the way your fat spills over your jeans when you wear those tight shirts. Will you be my valentine? Love, Zack."
She looked out my window, then back at me.
"I can't stop thinking of that image, over and over again," she told me. Emma had been making herself throw up ever since.
I began consoling her frantically, but she only nodded. I wasn't entirely sure she could hear me. By dinner, I knew it didn't matter. Emma was talking and laughing with the other seventh grade girls. The next day, she began raising her hand in discussions. When it was time for the girls to run their own discussions, Emma convinced her group to return to the topic of girl bullying. She served as the moderator. Then, standing before more than thirty people, Emma told the other girls exactly what had happened to her.
To write Odd Girl Out, I met with hundreds of girls in groups. We'd sit on the floor in a circle, cross-legged and munching snacks. I figured girls would be more comfortable talking together about bullying, meanness, and conflict. I thought they talked about it all the time.
I was wrong. When I asked them questions about direct confrontation, there was silence. A hand crept into the air, and a girl confided her fear of losing friends. Another confessed she might say something she didn't mean. The others stared at her, hesitated, then raised their hands and started talking. Whispers skittered through the room.
It soon became clear that most girls thought they were the only ones afraid of losing friends, the only ones who felt like their world might end if they did, the only ones with secrets about being bullies and victims, with knots in their stomachs as they entered the cafeteria and wondered where to sit.
As their voices grew more confident, their relief was palpable. They hadn't talked about this at all, and it thrilled them to realize they weren't alone. Sitting with the girls, watching them watch each other, was one of the most exciting parts of the Odd Girl Out project.
I invited young writers to tell their stories of bullying and friendship because I wanted girls to talk directly to each other about the hidden culture of aggression. I wanted to give every girl a chance to be a part of those discussion circles.
In Odd Girl Out, I explored how our culture affects the ways girls show their anger. Through powerful messages sent by parents, teachers, friends, and the media, girls learn that anger will not be tolerated; that they must sit quietly and behave like perfect little angels; that they cannot be ugly to anyone; and that breaking any of these rules will bring swift, severe punishment.
But much as girls try, bad feelings can't be wished or forced away. As a result, many girls hide their anger, using body language (the silent treatment), relationships (ganging up and threatening not to be friends with someone), and indirect aggression (rumors, gossip, the Internet) to express their true feelings. Others stifle their feelings, becoming depressed, cutting themselves, or developing eating disorders.
When girls are mean to each other, most people shrug it off. Determined to keep its girls "sugar and spice and everything nice," society turns a blind eye to girls' aggression. "Girls will be girls," they say. Or, they cluck, "It's a phase all girls go through."
As a result, most girls suffer alone. Their situations aren't addressed, their pain is private, and their problems hidden. Now, that's changing. We're starting to think about what girls do as "aggression," not just a "rite of passage." Odd Girl Out and Rosalind Wiseman's Queen Bees and Wannabees began building a public consciousness of what it means to be hurt in social, relational, or indirect ways.
We must continue that process, this time in girls' voices. Girls need to tell their own stories, to each other and to the world. This book is intended not only to help girls but also to be a powerful declaration, a kind of petition signed by girls.
My strongest memory of being bullied as a third grader was the feeling that no one had ever gone through what I had. If that was true, then it also was true that I was a loser of epic proportions, and that what happened was clearly my fault. Those feelings of responsibility marked me deeply. They had a huge impact on my self-esteem. I know I ended up writing Odd Girl Out because of them.
But I hadn't just been a victim. I did something terrible to a close friend when I was fourteen. As the years passed, I buried the memory deep inside my mind. I lied to myself and others about who I was, convinced I had never been anything but nice. Later in the book, I'll explore how hiding a real, human part of my personality damaged my ability to have healthy conflicts with my friends and nearly denied Anne the dignity of an apology.
When you realize the confusion, panic, pain, hurt, and anger you experienced is something that millions of other girls have gone through, it changes things. First of all, it's a lot harder to blame yourself as a victim. Second, when you understand your situation and see it as something relatively common, it gives you a context for your pain, not to mention some perspective. Finally, if you were a bully, understanding that aggression is normal can help you take responsibility for your actions and grow as a person in significant ways.
Telling her story freed Emma from silence and shame. It gave her back some of the joys of girlhood that had been taken from her. I know I can't erase the searing loneliness of being an odd girl out. Yet I hope this book will give girls a sense of community, an opportunity to share strategies and solace, and most of all, the knowledge that even the worst kind of heartbreak improves with time.
What Girls Do
A shake of the head, a roll of the eyes
The rumors the lies
They no longer play on your pride
But rip you up inside
This is what girls do
This is what they say
It is like this every day
The mothers reply
But that is a lie
Walking in the hall
Taking in it all
All alone no one home
Kids shouting, kids staring
All this torture I'm bearing
No one caring
-age 12
Growing from the Pain
Grammar school is where aggression all began for me. I went to a little Catholic private school, in a little "dandy" town in New Jersey. Everyone was friends with everyone else; it was hard not to be, in a class of thirty-five! But even that had its downfalls.
It all started in the sixth grade when little groups and cliques of girls formed. I seemed to fit in with everyone, not because I was popular but because I was always the "nice girl." I won "nicest" in the yearbook and "most Christianlike" at church. But even being nice had its downfalls. People could easily take advantage of you and in my case this one girl, Alisa, somehow became my nightmare.
It all began when she started to become best friends with all my friends. I loved it at first because it became one "happy group" but little by little I noticed Alisa slowly acting differently toward me. Then the stories started. Lie after lie, rumor after rumor was created as I sat there in awe of why and what she was trying to do to me. It just didn't make sense. Another problem I had was that I was very shy and hardly stood up for myself because even when I tried, Alisa would often "shut me down" and turn things around once again.
My life seemed to be a bad dream playing over and over again in my mind. "Poor Alisa" tried to turn things around and accused me of doing what she had done
to me (which of course never happened). Then eighth grade graduation came. I thought I would finally be able to get away from the misery I was put through.
I remember sitting at home crying for hours, thinking how she got away with all she put me through and why she tried to make my life so miserable. Even when I went to my best friends for advice (which were also her best friends, conveniently), they would just say that they didn't want to get involved because no one wanted to get tied up in "Alisa's lies." Half of them had been there and no one wanted to go through it time after time.
I finally thought when high school came along it would end! But of course it didn't. Alisa followed me right to high school along with ten other girls from my old school. I made a promise to myself at that point that I wouldn't let her bring me down. This was my time to shine. My high school years were going to be memorable and I was going to be out the... --This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.
About the Author
RACHEL SIMMONS, best-selling author of Odd Girl Speaks Out and The Curse of the Good Girl, is an educator and cofounder of the Girls Leadership Institute. A Rhodes Scholar, she has appeared on Today, Oprah, and other major shows, including her own PBS special, and writes frequently for Teen Vogue.
www.rachelsimmons.com
--This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.
www.rachelsimmons.com
--This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.
From the Back Cover
"I know I can't erase the searing loneliness of being an odd girl out. Yet I hope this book will give girls a sense of community, an opportunity to share strategies and solace, and most of all, the knowledge that even the worst kind of heartbreak improves with time."–Rachel Simmons
Odd Girl Out, a breakout bestseller by Rachel Simmons, has become "required reading for young girls and their mothers."* In the wake of its success and as part of her ongoing work with girl aggression, Rachel invited her readers to describe their own experiences of being bullied or bullying. The letters, essays, and poems in this book are culled from the resulting submissions from girls across the country. In addition to their stories, Rachel offers advice throughout the book, giving girls both voice to their feelings and strategies for the future.
"I would go to the bathroom and cry in the stall for twenty minutes or so. It was like I was in a never-ending nightmare. I was buried in a cold black hole where no one cared or understood."–Age 14
"We did other little ‘harmless’ stuff, like make up rumors and whine to teachers … to make it seem like she was horrible. She still doesn’t know why I was so mean to her."–Age 13 "I want to help people who are experiencing what I am, and most importantly I want everyone to know that no matter how bad things seem, they do get better … I got better."–Age 17
RACHEL SIMMONS, best-selling author of Odd Girl Out and The Curse of the Good Girl, is an educator, coach, and cofounder of the Girls Leadership Institute. She has appeared on Today, Oprah, and other major shows, hosted a PBS special, and writes frequently for Teen Vogue.
*Boston Globe --This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.
Odd Girl Out, a breakout bestseller by Rachel Simmons, has become "required reading for young girls and their mothers."* In the wake of its success and as part of her ongoing work with girl aggression, Rachel invited her readers to describe their own experiences of being bullied or bullying. The letters, essays, and poems in this book are culled from the resulting submissions from girls across the country. In addition to their stories, Rachel offers advice throughout the book, giving girls both voice to their feelings and strategies for the future.
"I would go to the bathroom and cry in the stall for twenty minutes or so. It was like I was in a never-ending nightmare. I was buried in a cold black hole where no one cared or understood."–Age 14
"We did other little ‘harmless’ stuff, like make up rumors and whine to teachers … to make it seem like she was horrible. She still doesn’t know why I was so mean to her."–Age 13 "I want to help people who are experiencing what I am, and most importantly I want everyone to know that no matter how bad things seem, they do get better … I got better."–Age 17
RACHEL SIMMONS, best-selling author of Odd Girl Out and The Curse of the Good Girl, is an educator, coach, and cofounder of the Girls Leadership Institute. She has appeared on Today, Oprah, and other major shows, hosted a PBS special, and writes frequently for Teen Vogue.
*Boston Globe --This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.
From Booklist
Sara Shandler's Ophelia Speaks(1999) responded to Mary Pipher's watershed title Reviving Ophelia (1994) with teens' own comments about the difficulties of growing up in a "girl poisoning" society. Now Simmons releases a collection of teens' words that builds on her own groundbreaking work, Odd Girl Out (2002), about the secret culture of aggression among adolescent girls. In this collection, Simmons draws from her workshops with teens, offering anecdotes, poems, and letters written by teens as well as her own insightful commentary. The chapters are loosely organized and examine bullying from a variety of angles: the voices of the bully, the victim, and the not-so-innocent bystander all speak here. Simmons also explores the more subtle hurts that come from shifting friendships and simmering jealousies. A section about "finding your inner strength" closes the book on a hopeful note. Parents, teachers, and social workers will find this revealing, but the book's most obvious audience is the young adults who will find support, direction, and even a community in their peers' words. Gillian Engberg
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.
Copyright © American Library Association. All rights reserved --This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.
Review
Praise for Odd Girl Out
"[Simmons] peels away the smiley surfaces of adolescent female society to expose one of girlhood's dark secrets: the vicious psychological warfare waged every day in the halls of our middle schools and high schools."-San Francisco Chronicle
"This is the book we have been waiting for. . . . Simmons has given voice to the girls who struggle everyday with friendships. She has uncovered a hidden world of aggression that unfolds behind adults' backs."-Susan Wellman, president of The Ophelia Project
"Thought-provoking . . . Probes the emotional underpinnings of girls' aggression."-Newsweek
"Revealing.... Young adults will find support, direction, and even a community in their peers' words."<br>
"A heartening book, and tonic for these politically polarized times."
"She's motivated by the victim's pain, but also aware of the pain of the perpetrators and believes they can change." --This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.
"[Simmons] peels away the smiley surfaces of adolescent female society to expose one of girlhood's dark secrets: the vicious psychological warfare waged every day in the halls of our middle schools and high schools."-San Francisco Chronicle
"This is the book we have been waiting for. . . . Simmons has given voice to the girls who struggle everyday with friendships. She has uncovered a hidden world of aggression that unfolds behind adults' backs."-Susan Wellman, president of The Ophelia Project
"Thought-provoking . . . Probes the emotional underpinnings of girls' aggression."-Newsweek
"Revealing.... Young adults will find support, direction, and even a community in their peers' words."<br>
"A heartening book, and tonic for these politically polarized times."
"She's motivated by the victim's pain, but also aware of the pain of the perpetrators and believes they can change." --This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.
From Publishers Weekly
This sequel to the controversial bestseller Odd Girl Out compiles pseudonymous accounts of bullying, backstabbing and other nastiness that girls say they have suffered or perpetrated on other girls, intercut with brief commentary from political scientist Simmons. Simmons argues that for "thousands of years, women have been barred from showing aggression," although feeling jealous, competitive or threatened are "natural, appropriate" responses to the world we live in. Furthermore, because "girls are taught that expressing anger directly is wrong, many girls (and women) have no choice but to resort to secret acts of meanness." Although there is nothing "secret" about most of the nastiness the girls in this book describe-they're very verbal in their abuse, very obvious and deliberate in their shunning of other girls-there are more fundamental problems with Simmons's model. Since she finds aggression universal, there's no need to look for the happy girls. She does not include accounts from kind young women, even though their insights into living a good life might be instructive. Still, this anthology's target audience is the girl in trouble, and Simmons has some decent advice: e.g., don't take offense right away, don't assume you have an exclusive relationship with anyone, don't try to IM (instant message) your way through a fight, don't accept a bad relationship, get involved in positive activities, be kind when ditching an old best friend, etc. It's not much different from what teen advice manuals have always offered, but some readers may find Simmons's presumption-of-wickedness approach more disarming than the conventional, presumption-of-goodness literature.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.
Copyright 2003 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an alternate kindle_edition edition.
Product details
- ASIN : B003K16P5K
- Publisher : HarperOne; 1st edition (Jan. 19 2004)
- Language : English
- File size : 734 KB
- Text-to-Speech : Enabled
- Screen Reader : Supported
- Enhanced typesetting : Enabled
- X-Ray : Not Enabled
- Word Wise : Enabled
- Sticky notes : On Kindle Scribe
- Print length : 210 pages
- Best Sellers Rank: #1,604,549 in Kindle Store (See Top 100 in Kindle Store)
- #245 in Child Psychiatry
- #416 in College Student Life eBooks
- #927 in Parenting Teenagers (Kindle Store)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author
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Rachel Simmons is the author of Enough As She Is: How to Help Girls Move Beyond Impossible Standards of Success to Live Healthy, Happy and Fulfilling Lives, and the New York Times bestsellers Odd Girl Out and The Curse of the Good Girl. As an educator, Rachel teaches girls and women skills to build their resilience, amplify their voices, and own their courage so that they—and their relationships—live with integrity and health.
The cofounder of national nonprofit Girls Leadership, she is an experienced curriculum writer and educator. She is currently the leadership development specialist at the Wurtele Center for Leadership at Smith College, and is Girls Research Scholar in Residence at The Hewitt School in New York. Rachel has served as a national spokesperson for the Always #LikeAGirl and Keds Brave Life Project campaigns, and consults nationally on women’s professional development.
Rachel was the host of the PBS television special, “A Girl’s Life,” and her writing has appeared in the Washington Post, Atlantic, Slate, and The New York Times. Rachel is a regular contributor to Good Morning America and appears often in the national media. Odd Girl Out was adapted into a highly acclaimed Lifetime television movie. Rachel lives in Western Massachusetts with her daughter.
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Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on April 20, 2004
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One person found this helpful
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Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on February 5, 2004
It's obvious that the ODD GIRL books have helped dry the tears, and restore the equilibrium, of millions among the undeserviedly abused. Thanks to Rachel Simmons, we pick ourselves up from the floor and soldier on.
But there is more. ODD GIRL SPEAKS OUT has the power to unleash a spring of creativity in those who " make art." whether it be writing, music, painting, or theatre.
True story: Several children in a fourth grade class volunteered to write an opera. But they were stumped. One girl happened on a copy of ODD GIRL SPEAKS OUT. She couldn't put it down . She instantly got the idea that "betrayal" could be their operatic theme. All of the kids" got it,' and the more they looked in the book the more great ideas they had for the plot, the characters, the music, the stage sets. : BUBBLING BETRAYAL was the name. It was a big hit, and many in the audiences said that it was like a grown- up opera in its depth and emotion, yet it dealt with the real life experience of kids.
So for those among you who want to write truthfully and from your heart, -first read this book!. ODD GIRL SPEAKS OUT could "light your pilot" as it already has for one fourth grade class.
But there is more. ODD GIRL SPEAKS OUT has the power to unleash a spring of creativity in those who " make art." whether it be writing, music, painting, or theatre.
True story: Several children in a fourth grade class volunteered to write an opera. But they were stumped. One girl happened on a copy of ODD GIRL SPEAKS OUT. She couldn't put it down . She instantly got the idea that "betrayal" could be their operatic theme. All of the kids" got it,' and the more they looked in the book the more great ideas they had for the plot, the characters, the music, the stage sets. : BUBBLING BETRAYAL was the name. It was a big hit, and many in the audiences said that it was like a grown- up opera in its depth and emotion, yet it dealt with the real life experience of kids.
So for those among you who want to write truthfully and from your heart, -first read this book!. ODD GIRL SPEAKS OUT could "light your pilot" as it already has for one fourth grade class.
Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on January 5, 2004
This book is a collection of writing, written by girls who have been hurt or hurt others. As I read, I felt as if I was that girl, and if it happened to me. Sometimes I would stop and read a story, and realize that happened to me as well. These are stories anyone can relate to.
One story, that was special to me, was a story about a girl who was left out of a birthday party. That particular author's story jumped out at me. (See this story in Odd Girl Speaks Out, pg 12).
If you have felt pain from other girls, I recommend this book. It shows that you don't have to suffer alone.
One story, that was special to me, was a story about a girl who was left out of a birthday party. That particular author's story jumped out at me. (See this story in Odd Girl Speaks Out, pg 12).
If you have felt pain from other girls, I recommend this book. It shows that you don't have to suffer alone.
Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on January 9, 2004
Terrific book...one for everyone to read! There's an odd girl inside all of us and the stories told in this book tell the tales. I especially can relate to the story beginning on page 12....I remember exactly how I felt when I was not invited to a party....this young author tells it like it is! This is a MUST READ!!!
Top reviews from other countries
Michigan Mom
5.0 out of 5 stars
Helpful conversation starter
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on May 21, 2007Verified Purchase
This book was recomended by my 6th grader's school counselor after she started making some questionable friend choices. We moved to a new area about a year ago and my two middle school daughters went from a very conservative charter school to a tight knit small town public school. My youger (6th grader) daughter has had a more difficult time adjusting and this helped a lot. My older daughter has always been the over-achiever, and expects the same of her sister. This book hleped a lot even within their relationship as I would consider my older child a "queen bee". This book helped my daughter open up to me more because it was easier for her to start a converstaion about something she read in the book, that happened to someone else, and it would lead us into things she is or has been going through. I read Queen Bees and Wannabes while she was reading this and it seemed to work out well, gave us a common thread and set the stage for planned conversations, something difficult to do well with girls this age.
7 people found this helpful
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Brown eyed girl
3.0 out of 5 stars
Worth the read, but not as helpful as expected
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on December 31, 2010Verified Purchase
The stories shared in this book definitely let girls who are being bullied know they are not alone. In that respect it is helpful. However, it doesn't really contain any information in how to deal with female aggression. I also maybe would have liked to read more success stories from girls that had been bullied and are now leading productive and happy lives.
8 people found this helpful
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Dee Hodson
4.0 out of 5 stars
Don't be a parent who doesn't get it...
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on July 10, 2007Verified Purchase
It is inevitable that our daughters will experience some sort of emotional bullying. Prepare yourself and the ones you love by reading this book and understanding the dynamic.
This book helped me to see how my natural reactions
"Well Ill just speak to her parents" WRONG
"Honey Just talk with her and it will work out" WRONG
"She is such a rotten kid! How can she do that?" WRONG
WRONG WRONG WRONG
Sigh.
It hasn't changed since we were young- its only better enabled by technology. In any case- information is the best weapon. Read this with your daughter before it happens- you may be able to avoid heartache.
This book helped me to see how my natural reactions
"Well Ill just speak to her parents" WRONG
"Honey Just talk with her and it will work out" WRONG
"She is such a rotten kid! How can she do that?" WRONG
WRONG WRONG WRONG
Sigh.
It hasn't changed since we were young- its only better enabled by technology. In any case- information is the best weapon. Read this with your daughter before it happens- you may be able to avoid heartache.
13 people found this helpful
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ScienceDiva
5.0 out of 5 stars
Great for a teacher/mom
Reviewed in the United States 🇺🇸 on June 27, 2013Verified Purchase
I actually bought this for my daughter who has looked at it but that is about it. I am hoping that it is because she really hasn't faced bullying as of yet. I know it is just a matter of time because everyone gets bullied sooner or later. I enjoyed the personal narritives more that the author's comments. I think that this book does a good job of showing all points of view and helping girls to see that they are NOT alone. Now if we can just STOP the bullying...
