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  • Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing: A Memoir
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Customer reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
4.4 out of 5
16,232 global ratings
5 star
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4 star
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2 star
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Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing: A Memoir

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing: A Memoir

byMatthew Perry
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Top positive review

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Amazon Customer
4.0 out of 5 starsSomething about people's lives there are no explanation for what they are facing.
Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on January 3, 2023
You think you know someone who has it all, but there are demons in their lives - no matter what they want to do, the demon's calls are like an old pair of shoes or an unfaithful lover to spend the time to cope with.

I hesitate to call the book a memoir because I believe that Matthew Perry has much wisdom to teach us. For example, Perry experienced whether or not he was worthy of love, or able to commit to a woman without being left first. So Perry thought he was not enough to have a meaningful relationship with a person who understood the man. All of us had been there or another at some point in our lives.

Perry's alcohol and drug abuse was not a cry for help; however, looking for happiness and calmness within himself like warm honey. I am not making any excuses for Matthew Perry, but addiction is an unknown place to people who are not educated about this disease. Still, it is a sadistic love affair that you should not be having and you know you will be in trouble. But, unfortunately, the beast wins.

I am thankful that Perry has beaten the odds and striving as an excellent writer and storyteller.

I hope that Matthew Perry finds love because everyone deserves love.
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7 people found this helpful

Top critical review

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Murrium Zaheer
2.0 out of 5 starsI was disappointed with this book because my expectations were very high.
Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on January 12, 2023
I am a huge Matthew Perry fan and was very much looking forward to this book. As he describes his childhood, I cannot help but feel a pang of jealousy at his upbringing and his circumstances. I recognize that addiction is a lifelong disease and I do feel really bad for those who suffer but I cannot help but feel a bit mad at Perry for seeming so ungrateful for his many privileges. He doesn't seem to recognize his blessings and seems to take a lot of things for granted, including the women in his life. I am hoping that perhaps his memoir got lost in translation and somehow the writing wasn't reviewed properly by an editor. He seems to brag about his life and even puts other actors down for his opinions on them. I think that I really admire Perry and I expected a more graceful memoir that acknowledged his powerful impact on the industry as well as his more quiet battles with addiction. Instead, I got what felt like a man bitching about his life when he has lived a most extraordinary and wonderful life with some unfortunate circumstances. I also don't understand why he couldn't stop drinking. I don't think he explains his addiction well. He doesn't seem to try to correct his own behavior but instead keeps doing what he wants. It makes it harder to empathize with a man who is unwilling to change. Eventually, he did change but it seems like he was forced to change rather than proactively going out of his way to change. I wish Matthew Perry the best with his career and I hope that he will write more books because I don't think he is finished with representing his story.
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One person found this helpful

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From Canada

Murrium Zaheer
2.0 out of 5 stars I was disappointed with this book because my expectations were very high.
Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on January 12, 2023
Verified Purchase
I am a huge Matthew Perry fan and was very much looking forward to this book. As he describes his childhood, I cannot help but feel a pang of jealousy at his upbringing and his circumstances. I recognize that addiction is a lifelong disease and I do feel really bad for those who suffer but I cannot help but feel a bit mad at Perry for seeming so ungrateful for his many privileges. He doesn't seem to recognize his blessings and seems to take a lot of things for granted, including the women in his life. I am hoping that perhaps his memoir got lost in translation and somehow the writing wasn't reviewed properly by an editor. He seems to brag about his life and even puts other actors down for his opinions on them. I think that I really admire Perry and I expected a more graceful memoir that acknowledged his powerful impact on the industry as well as his more quiet battles with addiction. Instead, I got what felt like a man bitching about his life when he has lived a most extraordinary and wonderful life with some unfortunate circumstances. I also don't understand why he couldn't stop drinking. I don't think he explains his addiction well. He doesn't seem to try to correct his own behavior but instead keeps doing what he wants. It makes it harder to empathize with a man who is unwilling to change. Eventually, he did change but it seems like he was forced to change rather than proactively going out of his way to change. I wish Matthew Perry the best with his career and I hope that he will write more books because I don't think he is finished with representing his story.
One person found this helpful
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Marilyn H
2.0 out of 5 stars Not worth the time or cost
Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on December 6, 2022
Verified Purchase
This book is only a "best seller" because Perry has a built-in audience and media network that promotes him all over the place. The book is predictable after a few short chapters, takes on a "look at and woe is me" tone, sprinkles in a few slightly salacious but largely irrelevant tidbits of “scandal”, and offers very little in the way of redemptive guidance as his talk show chit-chat promised. I am so glad he survived and is in recovery now. But I wonder if those desperate for recovery will truly see inspiration for change in reading on and on about pain, near death, and desperate, reckless, and dangerous choices. Not sure I can even pass this book along ...
3 people found this helpful
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Frank
2.0 out of 5 stars not that well written basically and not much about how he recovered
Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on March 14, 2023
Verified Purchase
meh
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j
2.0 out of 5 stars Ugh
Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on January 29, 2023
Verified Purchase
Kinda liked the guy before reading this -- the self-centred "me and my pals are so great" thread really killed it for me.
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EastCoaster
2.0 out of 5 stars It's a struggle
Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on February 14, 2023
I tried, but I just couldn't like this book, and now dislike Perry. As a memoir he attempts to be funny at times, but fails. His talent for comedy doesn't translate to writing. He's either praising those who earn more than he does or belittling those who don't. The writing is awkward, the timeline jumps around, and he's unlikable. This is a book I'm 75% through and continue to read only because I feel obligated to finish after paying for it.
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Amazon Customer
2.0 out of 5 stars Yawn, pretentious, self center individual. Disappointing read.
Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on February 6, 2023
I was never into Friends and was hoping for some real insight into an addicts mind and addiction. This had some interesting insights, but mostly Perry seems more concerned about talking about how great he had it, how rich he is, how many women, cars, houses, how funny he is... etc. Seems like another millennial looking for more attention. Pretty forgettable book.
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Joanne nielsen
2.0 out of 5 stars A bit too soon.
Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on January 16, 2023
Congratulations to Perry on getting sober, that’s a huge accomplishment! I think he needed to spend more time reflecting on his past before trying to get it down on paper. To really think about why he was writing it in the first place.
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Shopgirl
2.0 out of 5 stars Disappointing
Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on November 23, 2022
As someone who adores Chandler Bing I couldn’t wait to read this memoir. I had only just learned about his battle with addiction and I couldn’t wait to read his story. While I was heart broken reading about his struggles, I was so disappointed in the way he presented his relationships with the some of the co-stars. He came across as being above them all! And the Chandler I know and love would not be dropping “F” bombs to describe every emotion. It makes me feel that he didn’t take his addiction seriously. I feel for him and his battle but I’m watching FRIENDS with a different attitude toward my #1 guy!
3 people found this helpful
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Nicole Vaslot
2.0 out of 5 stars Unlikable Matthew
Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on November 12, 2022
I was really looking forward to this book. As big fan of biographies and growing up watching Friends I expected more. What I didn’t expect is how much the book made me dislike Matthew Perry. He comes across as arrogant, and brags quite a lot about his money and how many women he’s slept with.
Overall the book gave me the ick and really showed how selfish addicts can be.
Kind of ruined Chandler Bing for me.
6 people found this helpful
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Dana
2.0 out of 5 stars It was a struggle to finish
Reviewed in Canada 🇨🇦 on November 14, 2022
I feel really sad he suffered so so badly at the hands of addiction and he still carries some serious trauma. (very evident in his writing) but on the other hand, he insults others, tries to make himself look good by spouting off who he's dated, etc. I had an uncomfortable feeling throughout the whole book. Just an icky I can't finish this but I bought the book so I need to finish it feeling.
4 people found this helpful
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