Customer Review

Reviewed in Canada on January 4, 2021
I went in with really low expectations, but somehow this movie didn't even meet those.
I get it: period peices are tough. Even when hiring quality acting chops, like that of Gadot or Wiig, you can't hide the amount of suck this movie has.
There's a lot of issues, but i have to set some realistic expectations for my thumbs, so I'll cover (only) 5:

1. The CGI was impossible to ignore. I mean, we all laugh at Dwayne Johnson in The Scorpion King, but nearly 20 years later, how do we justify cringeworthy big-budget movies like this? How'd they pitch it? "For the CGI, I really feel inspired by last year's Cats movie. Can we do that, but with less dancing and more invisible jets? Thanks."
The animation of WW running at inhuman speed could have passed in the 1990 tv version of The Flash. Maybe.

2. That stupid jet scene.
Chris Pine flew prop planes in WWI. Yet in this movie, he easily jumps into a modern military jet and flies it with ease.
Apparently it's modeled after a Panavia Tornado - a jet with a range of about 4,200kms - that he flies it over 9,300km from DC to Cairo.
They also fly it at about 40kph through some fireworks, which is the only callback to the blatantly ripped-off Thor Ragnarok themed colours found all over the WW1984 posters, then have a deep an meaningful talk IN COMPLETE SILENCE!
Even a luxury passenger jet could achieve the level of serenity this magical jet provided. Good thing this stupid jet somehow had side-by-side seats for them to enjoy it.

3. Pedro Pascal carried the character with some believability for a short while, but as he went more insane, so did the plot.
It peaked when he was screaming into an nonsensical beam of light that was supposed to be a tv signal..? At this point, if you can somehow keep watching, WW goes into a long monologue about being true to yourself.. or was it about being happy with your life? I don't know. My brain Right-clicked and deleted it immediately in self defense.
Either way, she talks for a while, and you'll be wishing she didn't... until the camera goes back to Pedro making painful faces that should only be made behind his Mandalorian helmet.

4. Continuity.
Almost every movie has continuity errors, but sometimes it's like they just give up.
Things moving from hand to hand between shots. Clothing changing. At one point WW lost her lasso, but then stands up and it's on her belt. Heck, it's set in 1984, and the arcade has a number of games that came out years later.
You can even see a flat screen tv on the wall as Chris Pine goes down an escalator.

5. Lynda Carter's cameo was as much needed as it was poorly done.
We all want it, sure, but the script sold her off like a cheap gimmick. Might as well have her say, "It's me! I'm the original Wonder Woman! Look at me grace my fans with my presence!"
From Lou Ferrigno to Stan Lee, subtlety and tips of the hat can go a long way in super hero movies. Lynda is brilliant, but they didn't make it seem organic at all.

She can fly now.. which would make sense if she could fly in the 2 Justice appearances. Unless the flying scene took place after Justice League? Who knows?

Either way, consider watching Halle Berry's Catwoman. At least that mess was shorter.
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